Hi Kelly,
my name is Raman and I am an addict.

Though from very diffrent cultures, we are both addicts, so that makes us one of a kind.
Moreover, we from the same age group,, ur 47 and Im 50 so we can relate.

Most of all, Im identifying with your share.
All my relationships in recovery have never been good.
My partners have always been against the whole recovery concept which includes
staying clean, going to meetings , sponsorship, prayer and meditation and Steps.

The saddest, strangest thing in my life has been that when I was using, I didnt fit in because of that.
And now that Im clean, I again dont fit in because of that.

Therefore, all I really have by way of security is the NA Fellowship.
Even after years, decades in recovery, Im still lonely.
But thank God Im never alone !!!!

Im willing to be your recovery friend,, so long for now.

the pleasure was entirely mine Kelly,, any time at all.

It's really none of your husband's business whether you go to AA or NA (which is probably the best place for addicts). The bottom line is you need to do what it takes to stay get clean and stay clean. In my experience, that means regular meeting attendance, and lots of meetings at first. Your husband should realize that getting clean is what's best for you (and him). Even if he doesn't like AA/NA, he should at least be willing to let you do it. He can stay at home.

Hi Kelly, I'm Kelley, and I'm an addict.
I made my way into the rooms as a result of an ultamatium given to me by my husband, get clean or get out. You are killing yourself and I won't be a part of it any more, and I won't watch it any more. I hated him at that moment. But I was scared, we have been married 27 years. More than that, he was right, I was killing myself and I didn't want to live like that anymore. So I went to outpatient treatment, started attending meetings, and tried to stay clean and sober. It worked for a few months, then I relapsed. There was no major event in my life that caused me to relapse, I just did. Then I found myself having to look at the why and the how of it.
What I came up with were two things: First, I needed to be clean and sober because it was what I wanted for myself, not to keep my marriage intact or my family together, etc., etc., etc. Second was that I had to truly surrender myself to a power greater than myself, trust that it would guide me through my daily journey called life. As they say, simple, but not easy. What I have found is that I am able to maintain my sobriety 24hrs at a time if I just remember those two things. I ask for guidance and direction throughout my day, and I am working on learning how to listen for the answers. There are times when my husband is ok with me going to daily meetings, sometimes not. I go anyway. I need the support I get from the fellowship and my sponsor as well as my Higher Power to be successful, and I deserve it. For the most part my marriage has improved, and for that I'm grateful. It is difficult though, because while my husband does want me clean and sober, he's not necessarily thrilled with some of the changes he is seeing.
In order for me to obtain what I want, long term sobriety, I have to change. I pray that my marriage will survive, but it may not. The difference between a few months ago when I was faced with that reality and today is that a few months ago, I was scared to death and would have done anything to save my marriage. Today, I will do whatever I need to do to save my ass. If my marriage fails as a result of that, I will be sad, but I will be able to survive. With the grace and guidance of my Higher Power and the support and fellowship I have found in the rooms.
I hope you find a bit of something you can relate to in this post, and I hope you keep coming back. Peace.

Thanks for sharing all of you Kelley !

God keep you Blessed going in the Right Direction !

Just wanted to say hi to everyone, feeling depressed today so just wanted to check in, husband coming home from florida tomorrow after a week, ugh! liked being alone, I do love him
but not ready to watch and listen to someone drinking when I am trying to stay sober, gotta get to some meetings, Is the only one at 10:00?? gotta get to some real ones outside of my
house, gotta keep busy, but I am always in bed by then, thanks and good night, kel

Not only the drinking, but i think those we live with also have these behaviours that are not conducive to our recovery.

Our views on life and our standpoints on life change as we go along in recovery.
This is called the altered attitude. (N.A.= New Attitudes)
This involves more than just staying clean. It includes relationships, work, God of our understanding and how we now relate to ourselves.

The greatest challenge in my life has been to maintain peaceful co-existance with people who do not do the 12 Step Tradition.
How do we live under the same roof, accepting of each other, without compromising my newly found, greatly uplifting, Inner Values ?

The greatest hurdle in my recovery has been my mother.
She still lives with me to this day, as she has been in all my recovery and even before that.
The main conflict is between her commonsense, everday, layman, outsider approach to what constitutes right and wrong behaviour
and my grounding in the Principles.

The insanity is that conflict always is based on me saying
"look you're not hearing me"

True spiritual values will never be in conflict, but that said, conflicts do arise whenever I try and detach from these "outside influences"
and move deeper into "Our Common Welfare".