I was working on a project at work that's really out of my field of expertise. There are parts I do really well, and there are parts where I am totally clueless. Honestly, it intimidates the hell out of me.
So I put it off. Now it's past due. I've already given every excuse in the world. Let's face it: I procrastinated, and now it's going to bite me in the ass. I worked hard on it all week and made some headway, but it's going to take way more time than I anticipated.
My boss and the guy I got the project from have been breathing down my neck for the last few weeks. I have a meeting at 1:30 today to discuss this project, and I'm a little worried about how this is going to play out.
I guess this is one of those times when my willingness to have my character defects removed is pretty strong. And yet all I want to do is mess around on the computer and put it off some more. Talk about addict behavior. Avoidance techniques? Naaahhh... never...
I made my bed, I get to lay in it. Being in recovery is about taking responsibility for our actions (and inactions)... unfortunately.
Ok...so you bit off a little more than you can chew. Are you unique in that regard? It sounds like you are getting ready to "fall on your sword" so to speak. By the time i'm writing this you have already had this meeting. I hope that with your unburdened conscience you can face your boss with courage and integrity, but not cave in to the "I am not worthy" refrain that we addicts are so fond of singing. Hold your head up. Be straightforward. Be honest but not self defeating. My experience in business with projects is that most deadlines are flexible. Find peace with your higher power. The rest will take of itself.
The meeting ended up going well. I ended up getting more help with this project.
Program-wise, though... I am finding that I am never immune to my character defects. There will always be more that show up in insidious ways. :)
I didn't have to bow down and do the "I'm not worthy" thing, thank god. I just talked facts. Timeline, available resources, and how things don't add up. They were impressed with what I got done in a week's time, though... :)
Great share of experience with honesty Amanda,,, thanks and hugs for that.
My hard won experience in this context shows that sometimes Im overly honest,, and I do "stupid honesty". This honest to the extent of being stupid is not in line with my recovery.
I dont keep dark secrets though and share with appropriate people.
One of the best lessons Ive learnt is to share with others on a "need-to-know" basis.......
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
