September 14

Secrets are reservations

Eventually we are shown that we must get honest, or we will use again.

Basic Text, p. 85

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Everyone has secrets, right?  Some of us have little secrets, items that would cause only minor embarrassment if found out.  Some of us have big secrets, whole areas of our lives cloaked in thick, murky darkness.  Big secrets may represent a more obvious, immediate danger to our recovery.  But the little secrets do their own kind of damage, the more insidious perhaps because we think theyre harmless.

Big or little, our secrets represent spiritual territory we are unwilling to surrender to the principles of recovery.  The longer we reserve pieces of our lives to be ruled by self-will and the more vigorously we defend our right to hold onto them, the more damage we do.  Gradually, the unsurrendered territories of our lives tend to expand, taking more and more ground.

Whether the secrets in our lives are big or little, sooner or later they bring us to the same place.  We must chooseeither we surrender everything to our program, or we will lose our recovery.

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Just for today:  I want the kind of recovery that comes from total surrender to the program.  Today, I will talk with my sponsor and disclose my secrets, big or small.