For heavens sake Meditation Man,, I was also sharing with many about feelings.
Feeling the feelings,, keeping the good ones and letting go with love and understanding those that dont fit into my recovery in NA like, resentment, fear and anger.
Stay Blessed buddy,,, hugs...
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
When I was using, I dealt with all of my feelings by getting loaded. Sad: use drugs. Bored: use drugs. Angry: use drugs. Happy: use drugs. What happened is that over time I became numb and unfeeling. My feelings were burried under all the chemicals I had used to drive them away. When I got clean, I got my feelings back, but it was often overwhelming. I didn't know how to experience or deal with my feelings in a productive, healthy way. Through the 12 steps, I have learned how to survive my feelings. I have also learned that while my feelings are important, they are not the most important thing in my life and I shouldn't obsess on them or let them rule me. Staying clean is more important than any feeling I may have. So is going to meetings, step work, and doing the next right thing.
You take care meditation man ,I've seen you around.Hows the dog?
He is doing good thanks CD. I was just coming to do a little expanding on the topic. I had a good thing going on it, went to edit it and lost everything that I had typed out. Was so frustrated that I thought I better sit on my hands for a while.
One thing that I've been learning which has been a huge process for me is to do my best to not react like I did in early recovery. Although sometimes I still have problems with certain defects of character, they are not as they were in early recovery.
Feelings are hard for me to deal with as I am sure they are with all of us. What I have to learn is how to deal with things in a healthy way. That is something that is totally alien to me personally. I never dealt with anything unless I wanted to and when I dealt with any issues before I would do it my way...knowing my way probably wasn't always the best way to do things.
My feelings that day that I made this post was of total hopelessness. Looking for a place to live, trying to keep Chance my dog, the parties here have gotten worse, still no hot water in bathroom sink, Landlord hasn't been back here since he came the 2nd to collect and like I told him, the rent wasn't due yet. It was due on the 5th which has came and gone, and he hasn't been here.
I have found a place though, it is a motel that has been converted basically into apartments. The cost is $450.00 plus another $50 a month for the dog. That includes all of the utilities, gas, water, lights, sewer, trash, etc. That is also 100.00 more a month than what I have paid in years, and not too sure that I can even do it, however I really have no choice left right now. I might have to give up my Internet, and my vehicle insurance. That is something that I don't want to have to do, especially since the Internet is what keeps me fit mentally, and spiritually so to speak.
My case worker is seeing if she can help me with the first month of rent. Now if she can, than I can take what I have and apply it to paying my vehicle insurance up for a few months and pay a few more months of my Internet service. That will get me to around December. Than I will either have to keep finding and looking for a place for about $400.00 a month with everything paid. There is one place that I have lived before, and they do have openings available. The only problem is that it isn't a healthy environment for me. I know what happens there, and I would just be setting myself up to go back and even take a risk. I don't need to put myself in that situation today.
So with feelings I have a process that I use as part of my recovery to help guide me through situations.
1. I am having a feeling of being hopeless. Now this feeling may or may not be real, but it is real to me.
2. I have ot acknowledge that this feeling is real to me, I have to own this feeling.
3. I own this feeling of hopelessness, it is real and I need to embrace it and take complete ownership of it.
4. Now that I have owned it, what do I want to do with it? I don't like how I am feeling so since I now have owned it and it is real, I can than let it go.
This process makes it easier to look at and not only that, but it makes the process of letting it go so much easier at least for me.
Thanks for listening and allowing me to be here!
Junkie Lives I am grateful that I live today.
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Just Keep ON KEEPING ON!!!!!!!!!! If we live we are just pretty lucky
In prayer and support,keep reaching out Man,miracles will continue to abound,based on the evidence ,another day God opened our eyes as we awakened(no longer coming to!!)Glad you are getting assistance,like you said there were times when we blotted out our feelings and when we face them clean and move forward we reenforce our process,a day at a time ,guided by that Power greater than ourselves that we won't forsake in the dark what was shown to us in the light=HOPE..WE just don't use drugs!!! Peace Meditation Man!Glad you are here...................
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Meditation Man ,You have a lot on your plate.Make sure you move to a safe place , living where they use might not help your cleantime.Your dog ,he is family ,he is the one who always likes you even if no one else does .He's been around as long as I have shared with you.Having your internet is part of the recovery process ,being able to communicate , and letting go of issues is part of the cure .You take care man .
He is doing good thanks CD. I was just coming to do a little expanding on the topic. I had a good thing going on it, went to edit it and lost everything that I had typed out. Was so frustrated that I thought I better sit on my hands for a while.
