Hi Mandy,, you still there ?
Did you find answers ?

Be prepared for this, a totally different viewpoint for and addict who is no different, but found himself in strange circumstances.
No controvesy or "oneupmanship" intended, but I am reminded that NA offers recovery to all types of addicts in all kinds of situation !!!!
So here goes;

My drug usage took me into party spaces, then big freakouts and as it usually goes, addiction took me on the dis-ease route with fights, fuck-ups with law, hospitalizations and near institutilionalization untill finally in 1987, I cried for mercy and my parents admitted me in a drug rehab.
There I read the basic Text of NA and was relieved that there were addicts that recovered. I empathised with their stories and noted that the outstanding feature in all those sharings was how sponsorship turned their lives around.
So after reading all that thru, I decided Id get me a sponsor and looked around for one. That began a search for a lifetime that hasnt ended yet !!!

First I asked the addicts at the center that were counsellors to sponsor me and they said theyd love to but couldnt because of professional practice codes.
They however asked me to look around, so I tried.
At that time, there were no NA groups or members here in my hometown, so I decided Id get someone in the AA meetings I went to.
For the next 5 years, one or another of them sponsored me to the extent of sharing what they did in life.
I was feeling a little ddeprived because although these guys gave me a lot of love and attention and tolerance, it simply didnt click.
Yes, I was clean, but serenity was a long way off. I was dazed, bewildered and completely devastated by my lack of emotional recovery.

Then as luck would have it, a couple in recovery and their friends, from 12000 miles away visited my city with a view to do Step- Workshops.
Their primary aim was the getting of a 4th Step group started here and I was one of the first to actively participate.
This was a turning point in my life. I got to do the 4th Step over a period of time and had the benefit of a sponsor guiding me through it.
However, Tom was not a "present" sponsor because he returned to US after the Step Workshop and we communicated mainly thru snail mail and as internet became a reality, I shared thoughts, feelings and problems with him and finished my 4th Step after writing for two years nearly. It isnt necessary to write that long but I did.
A sponsor is a guide through the 12 Steps of NA (as it states in the Basic Text) an d my sponsor was doing that and I was happy.

But disaster struck and Tom was hospitalized for heart problems and his wife mailed me to say he was unable to sponsor me anymore and that i had to move on.
I tried to move on but where ? There were no addicts with more clean time in my area, and as for the guys that had less clean time, I did not want what they had.
So I searched again and found the Loner Group to be the answer.
In those days of snail mail, we had this publication called "Meeting by Mail" that contained sharings by members worldwide and was mailed out to each of us 1000 odd addicts once every two months.
I had been a member many years and initially Jeff had sponsored me for a short while but now I asked Bill to be my sponsor. This was a strange space; I hadnt a clue what either Jeff or Bill looked like or how they spoke or things like that but there certainly was that worldless language of recognition and belief that prompted my sponsorship request.

Bill and I wrote snail mail to each other for nearly 5 years thence and shared a lot. That kept me going till it faded and I knew it was time to move on and then this addict from Hawaii began sponsoring me. In between that, Id done the 5th Step with Diana, again an absent sponsor, and was witnessing the Prescence of God in my life very strongly. Eric and I then shared a lot and when that began fading after three years, I knew I had to move on.

At that time, I was elected chairman of the World Wide Workshop on recovery and service in NA. This event was being held in my city and was entirely funded by NAWS. About 500 addicts and a few families landed up and in that lot I was to find my next sponsor Bob. He was a guy that had what I wanted; a long service record and when I asked him to sponsor me he did.

But I was again faced with having an physivally absent sponsor and when I compared me with others I felt a bit deprived. However, when I was reminded that NA offers recovery to all types of addicts in all kinds of situations, I felt ggreatful for what I had. Bob guided me in many phases of my life; the getting of a new girlfriend, going abroad for studies, reconstruction of my home and the displacement that it brought with it, the painful, ardous and depressing Hep.c treatment and the guidance into renewing my service commitments, both in Uk and then back in India.

Then Bob got very busy with the Living the program project. I was also involved in that project but guilt at not fullfilling obligations made me step back a bit.

In the meanwhile, my sharings and readings in MIP grew tremendously. I also recognized the need for sharing personal recovery and decided that I needed to confide in someone , one-on-one, on regular basis. It maybe asked why an addict, clean for nearly 24 years cant sponsor him or herself and the answer is clear; self-sponsorship is a sign of the dis-ease in progress. 

So Im sharing regularly with Bill.F here and am very greatful for his support.

Don ahs given me a very many vaulable and meaningful insighst and I depend on these two here for my sustenence in continuing recovery. Im greatful for their sharings and look forward to their responses to my personal emails or these public posts.

The list includes Vin and Manon; we've been sharing here nigh on 7 years and it is a close association..

Need I say more about how this has been a long strange trip ??

That inspite of not having physically present sponsors in NA, Ive still been sponsored.

That inspite of any or all odds, you and I, and any addict seeking recovery will recover because we do recover..

God speed you in your search, and be it you find a physically present woman addict to sponosr you, or need to make calls or use internet remember that sponsorship is the heartbeat on NA, one addict helping another !

Strange that recovery isnt easy, but as long as we decide to keep it simple, it works !

-- Edited by Raman on Saturday 27th of August 2011 03:17:26 AM