no matter what might be going on in my head i am one week clean fighting my demons once again clean no escape for me not today...its been a challenging weekend as my thought are craving a slow ride rapids are all i see in front of me...
i know have always known i don't fight this alone many of you have been with me since 2005 under this name and others i am so grateful to call this home even after the stalking i went thru here was advised to move on i refused to lt him run me out this is a place for all addicts to come and share bright days and not so bright somme of you understand me and some of you try i know i am not an easy personality thats ehy principles come first but i am struggling with my addiction today wanting to be numb so i posti am in my room 90% of the time in a beautiful 2 bdrm apt but not to see its beauty i hide from me as well not just the world if i sleep is that now a tranfer of addiction or coping mechanism? dunno but i see my docs frequently to keep up with the never ending med changfes so it seems...but i am here for now and grateful for a power greater than myself
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Way to go Manon,we can continue to progress by taking little bits at a time.We stay clean by the minute,the hour,the day ,the week ,the year.....Each day is another opportunity at recovery,as long as we don't pick up ,we can't get high!! In support and prayer,good hearing from you.Congrats on a week........I know how you "all" struggle and I pray for your serenity and peace of mind,using will only make things worse,I don't need to tell you that.Focus on that smile from the fair"the cowgirl" as Don says,,we can choose happiness,I pray you do........
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Manon - I haven't been around long, but find solace here. You are part of here, so keep coming back. I know that desparate ache to be numb; I've felt it, I still do some days, when my mind just won't shut the f*** up and leave me alone in silence. In my opinion, taking a nap would be a perfectly acceptable sustitute at the moment.
