Addicts tend to live secret lives.... It is a great relief to get rid of all our secrets and to share the burden of our past.
Basic Text, p. 33
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Weve heard it said that were as sick as our secrets. What do we keep secret, and why?
We keep secret those things that cause us shame. We may hold onto such things because we dont want to surrender them. Yet if theyre causing us shame, wouldnt we live more easily with ourselves if we were rid of them?
Some of us hold onto the things that cause us shame for another reason. Its not that we dont want to be rid of them; we just dont believe we can be rid of them. Theyve plagued us for so long, and weve tried so many times to rid ourselves of them, that weve stopped hoping for relief. Yet still they shame us, and still we keep them secret.
We need to remember who we are: recovering addicts. We who tried so long to keep our drug use a secret have found freedom from the obsession and compulsion to use. Though many of us enjoyed using right to the end, we sought recovery anyway. We just couldnt stand the toll our using was taking on us. When we admitted our powerlessness and sought help from others, the burden of our secret was lifted from us.
The same principle applies to whatever secrets may burden us. Yes, were as sick as our secrets. Only when our secrets stop being secret can we begin to find relief from those things that cause us shame.
Just for today: My secrets can make me sick only as long as they stay secret. Today, I will talk with my sponsor about my secrets.