ok yes i relapsed i am not in a good place in life i don't trust anyone nemore the doctor or shall i say KelliA ruined that for me so it seems
i wanna fucking fix the world but i got to thinking who the fuck is gonna save me?
i can't even trust myself due to personality changes that have been slowly but surely less apperant not saying i don't havve to take responisbility cause i do but holy heel wtf am i supposed to do
let me guess "keep coming back"
fuck you
you have or i haven't ever found where i belong in the wanna be fucking program "works if ya work it then your sponsor kills her self after over 20 years clean ok yea it works till you off yourself hell thats not even a sure thing i tried many time since Kelli (doctor) drama and got no where so good luck with that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Thanks for sharing from your heart Manon.we will continue to love you until you learn to love yourself. I hear your cries and will lift you up in prayer..
__________________
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Don't give up, Manon! This is only a small mis-step, unless you let it become more than that. They say that practice makes perfect, so next time, you'll be better at sobriety than this time. Also, you can't possibly know why someone else would take their own life...being clean does not cure all underlying issues and problems. Please don't second-guess your own progress because of this.
Manon,, as of now, Im picturing that this group of us addicts are with you, in Spirit, and hugging you and reassuring you that you will make it !!! Hugs, not drugs, and pass it on to another suffering,,,
__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Manon,Don't give up on yourself 'you can do it , you know how to get clean .As I have read your posts you have a difficult time , but you have bounced back from relapse.Losing a sponsor the way you mentioned can be difficult .I will pray to the HP for you. I have a feeling you can rebound from your dilemma .Take care ,We need you here, you always tell whats on your mind.
"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorius triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat. " Theodore Roosevelt
I read that after coming out of a relapse and it made where I was at OK but it also set me up for a better future. Thing is, at least for me manon, I wasnt done till I was F'n done, I had to get rid of all my reservations ( Parts of ourselves we wont surrender to the program.(It Works How & Why Pg.10.) .
I feel all of that with you but i have to think that there is a reason why i keep comin back and there is a reason why you're talkin about it here too. Don't put someone else's problems on ur shoulders they get really heavy 2 carry around. My thoughts r with u.
...STILL...KEEP COMING BACK...THIS SHIT DON'T CHANGE...THE FORMULA FOR RECOVERY..IT WORKS FOR COUNTLESS OTHERS..AND I AM ONE OF THEM...MANON..QUIT PLAYING WITH YOUR LIFE..HOPEFULLY YOU WILL RUN OUT OF EXCUSES....