Fiesty, thank you for sharing.  When I read your words it made me realize regardless of what my husband tells me about being clean, he is not in recovery.  He has been "clean" for the past 25 years but he still often times acts out (although he would never admit that).  In his own words he once wrote...I've always tried to hurt others with my words, especially if they didn't do what I wanted."  He still acts the same way today along with all the other "stuff" he says, especially to  me.  We've only been married for almost three years (8/8), but just two days ago I asked him to leave since I found out he only married me for economic reasons (that too was written in his own words).  Things he didn't like out weighed the things he liked. I voiced my option and stood up to him and he didn't like it.  After finding out why he married me in the first place and finding unopened condemns and other sex toys (not used on me, I might add), I asked him to leave our home.

Didn't mean to bend your ear, but again, thanks for those words. Now I really do know the difference between clean and recovery.