First of all I am Brazilian, so sorry if I make some language mistakes, ok?
Well, I have been going through some very deep emotional crisis. I am back on NA for almost 6 months after I got aware I was going to be a father. My ex and I broke up, after some sad happenings she went through with her economic life and personal decisions to get out of these financial problems. My daughter is now 2 months old. I havent seen her yet. They are living in another state kind of far from me, but I am doing everything I can to support my daughter. I have done the DNA exam to make sure she was mine - yeah her mom gave me that unhappy doubt - its mine, I am making contact to make sure everything is alright, and searching ways to help her and also to send money for my ex. Soon I will be able to go there register the kid formally, and also to do all the legal requirements to pay that what lies on my responsability monthly to her.
The problem is, I am trying to do my best, I am even planning to move closer to my child, to be more capable of supporting and to help her out. However my ex has not helped a lot, to get in touch, to give me a phone contact, an adress to send things and so on. That kinda worries me, to move closer to them. I think if I will not suffer even more being next and having to overcome obstacles my ex can set me up for pride or stuborness. May be it would be better if I just stayed far, but helping and going after things I have always wanted to go after. And some other times I even think about taking this child for me to take care with my family´s support, once she has no condition to take care of this baby alone, furthermore she has a child of 6 years old that has no father supporting her.
Sorry for bringind this personal issues, just wanted to put them out. I share with friends from NA meetings I attend here in Brazil, and also with my sponsor. I consider this baby to be my angel, once she was a big motivation to search again for recovery and stay clean a day at a time. I want the best for her, Alice - her name - want to give her a good future, and above all a good example as a Dad, I did not want to fight for her with my ex, but sometimes that is what goes through my mind, once she shows to be very unflexible on her thoughts and actions...
Send a big hug to all of you, great moments for all of us!!!
Hi Alex. No problem with the language so please post often. The first step of our program teaches us that we are powerless over others. You cannot make your ex do what you want her to do. You are early in recovery and so going to meetings and working steps is very very important. I'm glad you have a sponsor and are speaking with him. Seek a close relationship with your higher power. Speaking for myself, when I can open myself up and let my higher powers will guide me, good things seem to happen. Thanks for sharing and please let us know how things are going for you.
Welcome and glad you are here! First thing that always comes to my mind"is just don't use".As long as we remain clean we have a chance to work things out by continuing to put trust and faith in our Higher Power and continually apply spiritual principles in our lives.My 1st wife moved my now 45/46 year old children out of state when they were 12/13....I lost contact for a long time, but have since been able through faith and application of the program in my lives and actions of to renew all relationships .As Don says ,we are powerless over others and we must be responsible for our own recoveries,I can only suggest continuing to work your prigram "with a sponsor" and more will be revealed.We sometimes can only make our own amends by examples of how we are living. I can identify with the loss you are feeling, but a day at a time we can ,with God's guidance,work thru trying situations,clean and hopeful..Let us know how its going okay,stay close with your support group and remember Fear takes Flight,when Faith stands Firm....Peace
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Welcome - first I am glad you are clean!!...trust in the folks and your HP that you have chosen to be your lifters..in life..my experience stick to basics and you will continue to be guided into truth and what's next..
