But stuck because three financial decisions made were good but keep me from taking money out for three years.
And then work was slack and I did not do any marketing, so Im in a bind now.
Credit card payments, car loan instalments, daughters school fees and home expenses are all keeping me in a real tension..............
Im doing simple things like discussing things with others who are concerned, shaing in NA settings, taking all the work Im getting and being very austere in my spending.
Fear and anger do come up but Im letting it go.
Getting a bill ready for last months work at a hotel here; Im hoping they will settle quick..... and clean.
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I can only share from my personal ESH and am the worst at $$$ management"Its not im caught up in the "love of" because that is the root of all evil its kind of like a blatant disregard(no longer thanks to spiritual principles in my actions and life)
I know personally that $$$ has the Power to take God's place in our lives when we get buried.iT IS A HARD MASTER AND A DECEPTIVE ONE.It does promise power and control but always fails in a worldy way.I know, we have little now,and are spiritually happier than when we thought we had a lot.
As a chronic gambler from the time I was 10 years old gambling for marbles on the block ,to cards,to 2 guys walking to the car,($20.00 on the guy in the back!!!)I lost the value and lived like my father also a chronic gambler also and figured SOMETIMES i WIN ,SOME i LOSE..
For example last year we sold our home for a very decreased price,market was terrible,but we were drowning in debt..Because we owed very little we sold,and had $60,ooo left.We paid off over 50,000 in debt and just left a little bit to work on.We were prodded to claim bankruptcy and keep the money etc.but through prayer and supplication we did the right thing and we are so at peace,kind of broke but rich in spirit...
So as you can see my friend why I would never advise or even suggest any $$$ things but I will defintely suggest not letting the financial thing take you away from God!!No amount of money can provide health happiness or contentment but the peace of God can..Easy to say cause Central Hudson aint no longer banging down my door?? Nah...I came in with nothing and Im going out with nothing but I know the Master Planner WILL GUIDE ME THROUGH,i DIDNT GET HERE AT THIS POINT OF MY LIFE BY luck, THAT iM SURE OF..i WILL KEEP YOU IN PRAYER,give more away and watch it come back,,an unusual scenario,but I'll be darned we see our blessings will multiply..In support and prayer,give me a line if you want to talk .peace my brother..
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Thoughts of money = fear At least that's my experience. My wife and I moved to Florida in late 2004. We bought a lovely home in a nice community but paid ALOT of money. The house is worth barely 1/2 what we paid for it. Our plan at the time was to live here for 12-15 years...then sell and use the profits to buy a comfy condo. Well, you know what they say about plans. (if you want to make God laugh, make plans) So here we are...in a nice place that we can afford, but with little extra. The liklihood of us ever being able to sell this house is slim to none. But we are fortunate and one must always be grateful. There are many in our community who lost jobs etc. and could no longer afford payments so went into foreclosure. Others in situations similar to ours refused to continue to pay high mortgage on low value and just walked away, abandoning the house. It is depressing to see how homes are being neglected due to the lousy economy. But today we are healthy, our bills are paid, and those I love are happy and well. All is good. Prayers for your well being Raman.
Last year lost my job of 10 years, Prayed to god and turned it over, kept asking myself how i'm going to make the new house payment, cell phone, house phone, internet, 3 credit card payments, utilities ( water, garbage, electricity, gas ), gas for truck, food bill, insurance on truck, plus some....Got people to rent a room from me that helped some.
I barely made it work when I had my job, now unemployment and some work comp $ things worked out now for over a year doing it the way gods directed me, im humping my ass doing the foot work and whatever he provides for me, if I need it he will make it happen, when i dont, i have down time. I've made every bill on time with extra. I keep turing it over and trusting he will give to me what i need, I keep having fear, then i turn it over and practice faith, do the works.
I am greatful and thank God for your sharings Bill, Don and Vin.... I believe that your pain is my gain,, in more ways than one. This is one addict who is certainly moved by your shares,,,,,,
( Don, indications are that two years down will see a resurgance of the US economy, especially as large parts of the third world open up to US goods and services )
I think this is why we are warned "lest problems of money property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose". Whats written in the Traditons in respect of the group is also valid for an individual.
One thing this is teaching me,,, as Bill said, is the value of humility.... Gods sake, even the best is never good nuff for the monster called "consumption",, whose master in turn is MONEY.... Living up to the Jonses is always a problem with me, so help me God...
Im thinking now how I cant save ass and face at the same time, so bette to butt out of those situations where i believed that spending money was the aswer, little realizing that God dosent want me to do that, and it's ok to not have things.
Hey buddy Vin,, I now know for sure why youd turned a gold prospector,, hehe,,, but thanks for the support Vin.. Hang in there bro, you may still hit paydirt,,, you may still get to do a Mckenna !!! And please help your buddy Raman with a fistful too,,, hmmmmm, sigh !
As of now, Im doing the bar job again, playing five times a week at the Blue Bar. It was a DJ thing till the management wanted a change, and now theyre looking to do jazz and retor and change the kind of clients that come there. And what a challenge this is for this recovering addict; broke for cash, needing a steady job, and not knowing any other way of earning than playing music.. I was hoping for more breks into one nite stands and one-off events, but seems like commitment is the focus now here at this hotel. Moreover, Im trying to et the management to look at a mini jazz fest, and doing the turnaround with them. Seems like another opportunity to work my NA Program, abstinence and honest work.... Oh God,, all this seems overwhelming at times, but as Ive done a month already, I see some hope for me as my paycheque is being readied.
In order to cope, Im practising more one-on-one contact with NA before and after work each day, being more regular at MIP, holding onto NA service commitments and saying our prayers many times over. Im also reading out "Living Clean" and drawing much Recovery Spirit from it.. My music is sounding good and I hope to be a team man,,
Gosh, lifes full of tricks and turns,,, making me wish I had saved all that money in the good times... hmmmmm,,, sigh,,,, thanks for your sharings....
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
We had a good nite last nite, place was full and lots of requests, appreciation, old friends and new !!! Sort of homecoming, musically after a nearly three year stint in Sheffield and as sideman....
The focus is on me now, Im trying to stay humble. The first money will come in next week, and after paying my female singer, and all the cards and car loan, Ill have a zilch...
At least the phone calls demanding payment will cease,,, if only temporarily...
The silver lining is this; this situation has strengthened my faith in the Program and in your alls vaulable guidance and experiences !!!
God Bless yall to abundance !
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Yea Don,,, yeeeeeeeeehawwwww like,, Mustang Sally... Only,, this critter aint as young as she used to be....
hahahahhahahah...
Ha,ha,ha, Don,, in fact had a guy come and ask me after the show "Where's yall from?" Hahaha,,, and i say "from this here very ground" then he looks at me and sez,,, "Can I buy you a drink ?" I refuse politely and say " no thanks,,, whats the moniker sir ?" and that floored the gent,,, a lawyer from Virginia, living in NY...
hehehe !
-- Edited by Raman on Tuesday 5th of July 2011 02:42:36 PM
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Thanks Raman for sharing..Financial always creeps in for me..Even when I am stacking..I am always counting it..my pockets, my bank account..I think for me it is the fear..I won't have enough..even though I have enough..I think its just my dope fiend behavior..more..more..more..I am not that well yet..And also..how I am conditioned..pay bills, work, buy stuff..pay bills..work..buy stuff..then oops!..gotta stack again..vicious cycle..I think I need to just be able to start off with about 30 million ..and see where i go then..knowing me..I still will want more...
Now,, is yall sacking for the big commitment ceremony day ??? hahahaw !
Jee,,, I wish i was there,, Id have played and sung some jazz for your function,, like When I fall in love my funny valentine misty way you look tonite ive got you under my skin nearness of you
and songs like that !!!
And with 400 people around, I may have had my 2 minutes of fame !!! hmmmhehehe
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Got my cheque, put it in my bank account. Weirdest thing is knowing that as sson as it credits,t card d all the money will be gone !!!! Car payments, credit card dues and insurance updates will leave with nothing.
Then there wil be another agonizing month before the next cheque, and again, itll all be gone fore i can say jack...
-- Edited by Raman on Friday 15th of July 2011 03:44:48 AM
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Be grateful there paid then find ways thru prayer meditation and footwork to make a little extra $$, comeone raman we dope fiends we need money we find a way HEH HEH, but do it honestly !
Its a daily rigmarole,,, constant calls from the card companies asking to pay up.. Dodging them and playing for time has become the name of the game !!! arghhhhhhh@#$%^&*!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Hello my brother!
