We didnt stumble into this fellowship brimming with love, honesty, open-mindedness, or willingness.... When we were beaten, we became willing.
Basic Text, p. 20
=
Surrender may be the necessary foundation for recovery, but sometimes we fight it. Most of us look back after some clean time and wonder why on earth we fought so hard to deny our powerlessness when surrender is what finally saved our lives.
As we recover, new opportunities to surrender present themselves. We can either struggle with everyone and everything we encounter or we can recall the benefits of our first surrender and stop fighting.
Most of the pain we experience comes from fighting, not surrendering. In fact, when we surrender, the pain ends and hope takes its place. We begin to believe that all will be well and, after some time, realize that our lives are much better as a result. We feel the same way we did when we gave up the illusion that we could control our usingrelieved, free, and filled with fresh hope.
=
Just for today: Is there a surrender I need to make today? I will remember my first surrender and remind myself that I dont need to fight anymore.
Yes its amazing that after 25 years of active addiction I was able to surrender to the pain and not even know that I was an addict.How is that possible?(denial,rationalization,misinformation etc) Those of us who have found program of Narcotics Anonymous don't have to be asked twice about this question WHO IS AN ADDICT ,they know..Suppose you didn't find it early?,did you think you were just someone who liked to party? Another paragraph down tells us" Most of us didnt know we were addicted before we came to the program(not many .or some OF US but most of us!)I surrendered to the pain ,it was awhile after whenl I made the real "admission" yes I am an addict named Mike,,I say I am an addict first cause if I dont remember "what ' I am first, it won't matter "who' I am, I will be among the walking dead!! Thank God I was able to surrender,many of my crew never made it!!The fight of obsession and compulsion to use has long been lifted, but I surrender daily to the spiritual and mental part of this illness!
__________________
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
