Been going to meetings daily but don't feel like I am getting fed. Talked to a NA member today who also feel unfed. After the conversation I feel so drained.
Sometimes I feel better skipping a meeting till I get centered again.
They told me to never stop going to meeting but I got to tell you, lately its really been a challenge. So many loaded people sharing, brand new people pitching antidepressants and just the chaos of the angry court slippers.
I just wonder how long I will be able to take this. Then my fear is that I will become another statistic.
If I just had one good meeting a week I could take the rest of the crazy ones.
I going to take a break for a week and try to get centered.
Thank you all for listening.
I would call my peers but they all fled the chaos and when I lost my cell phone I lost their numbers. Who knows where they are.
My advice, write down their numbers and put it in a safe place. Man I sure wish they had not left, but I cannot blame them. Its just that I am afraid to quit the meeting. I feel like I am being held hostage by the inmates running the asylum called NA now.
As you can tell, I'm really stressed out today. Is a stable meeting too much to ask? Really. Just one.
Hi John,, just my experience in these situations..
Im usually closed emotionally when meetings get monotonous. But I had to cope,, like meeting makers make it.
Then I got good suggestions like balancing my life. Work got more of my time as did family and exercise. Also chose a variety of meetings and interacted with different kinds of members.
Im sure Kansas has eck a lot of meetings to choose from,, make wise choices.
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
It is strongly suggested in NA that we attend meetings regularly, and that we try to make a meeting a day when we first start the program. After get some clean time, many members feel that they no longer need to go to as many meetings as they did at first. I have been clean for 26 years and I go to 2-3 meetings a week. I think I would get bored in meetings if I went every day. I don't go to meetings to get "fed". For me, recovery happens through stepwork. This is an active process, not a passive one in which I am fed. I go to meetings to get some experience, strength and hope from others, to remember what the pain of active addiction is like, to remember who I am, to fellowship with other addicts, and to be of service. I, too, don't like to hear all the whining, bitching, and moaning from newcomers and other in meetings. But I also need to get some perspective on this and be glad I'm in a place with my recovery where I am no longer dealing with those issues and I have made some progress. I can also counteract all the crap that is said in meetings by trying to share a positive message of NA recovery.
When I got clean, we had two NA meetings in town. One didn't feed me whatsoever. It was a sausage fest where the meat (women) were on display for all to see. It was sick. It's still sick.
I found that the ONE meeting fed me. After some time, that ONE meeting turned into TWO, and today has turned into FOUR!
Find a meeting that WORKS - is following the traditions, has a strong sense of fellowship, where people work steps, have sponsors, etc. See if that group will start another meeting. You never know... you could be starting the next meeting!
When meetings don't feed me, I'm usually looking at all the bad instead of the fact that there were people that day that chose a meeting over using. And that's a freakin miracle!
As far as folks sharing who are using... we have something in our chairperson's reading that says, "If you have used today, please LISTEN and talk to someone after the meeting." If they share anyway, someone pulls them aside after the meeting and lovingly says to come back, but come back clean. If you can't come back clean, please just listen.
I hear you. I think some NA meetings are lousey. Nobody wants to enforce traditions "it's not spiritual" or "God is in charge" or such. But when the rehab buses pull in I shudder.....Sure the newcomer is the most important person but how many of the bussed in rehab kids could care less about recovery...they are satisfying a parent, or looking good for the court, or some other reason ....The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using,,, but what happens to a meeting when half the people there don't have the desire to stop????? Yes, people who are high are welcome at ameeting...but is there an 'atmosphere of recovery' when people who are obviously high go on endless stoner ramblings with no correction from the chair or homegroup? This using of NA by the courts and rehabs has worked for some i know, but the down side is that addicts who have no desire to get clean are filling up the rooms and sharing like they have a message of recovery when they don't. These meetings are all about the disease and not about recovery. The only thing i can do at such a meeting is wait for the one line of recovery that I will hear if I listen hard enough. Somedays I have to listen reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal hard.
-- Edited by avid on Wednesday 22nd of June 2011 03:33:40 PM
I just realized what I said. I must put less effort into NA now that inhale 28 years as my views conflict with those of the new people who are forced to attend against their will who have no interest in getting clean.
Now how can an organization that rejects it's most experienced leaders ever hope to survive.
