Hi I am new to this website..searching for some sort of support system. My husband and I are recovering alcoholics and haven't drank since July 2009 BUT...my husband is on narcotic pain pills from his doctor for legitimate health problems. I on the other hand first received narcotic pain pills in the spring of 2010 for oral surgery. I like how they made me feel and when mine were gone I began stealing my husband's. This has gone on off and on for approximately 10 months. Twice, I admitted to him and went to doctors for help. The last time was in November and I was given Suboxene. When that ran out (maybe in February) I started stealing my husbands pills again and did it off and on until about 3 weeks ago and I have taken some every day since. Today is my first day that I have made up my mind not to do it anymore. There is a long story behind all of this but I will not get into all the boring details. Simply put, I don't want to take them anymore...not going to tell husband or he will kick me out this time for sure cuz he can't trust me. We lost our jobs and we are living with mother-in-law and husband found work but I haven't so I am here with her all day. I stay in our living space in the basement most of the time because she wasn't really happy about us having to come here to stay. I can't go to meetings because we have 4 dogs and she would only accept watching them if it was because I finally find work. Also, attending meetings would raise RED flags to husband. I am a strong believer in God and I am praying constantly for His help and that I don't get sick like I did in the past. Sickness would only make eveyone here wonder what is wrong with me. I came here as a place to visit whenever I feel the temptation to take a pill to make myself "feel better". Thanks for listening and I will probably be popping on and off all day today and for the next few days for sure. I do feel stronger today about this decision than I did the past few days.
Hi, and welcome justbme. I'm a pill popper too (or was) and I detoxed alone, with a little suboxone. I gotta tell you a couple things that make me worry for you in this attempt. Withdrawals are hard to hide, and your using has probably been noticed more than you think it has. If this were me in your shoes, and I truly wanted this program, and wanted to learn to live life on sober terms, I would find a way to get to face-to-face meetings. That's not advice, just what I would do, and I'll tell you why. I tried to stay clean without a program, I didn't even admit to myself that I was an addict, and here lately, once life began getting stressful again, and I was faced with things I didn't want to do, but had to do? I wanted to use. Keeping your addiction in the dark flies in the face of what this program teaches - rigorous honesty. And if you plan on working the steps, then you won't be able to keep it in the dark for long. My secrets are what made it so easy for me to have an excuse to use. I can't keep secrets any more. Wouldn't it feel good to be relieved of the burden? I do wish you well, and you'll certainly find support here.
I hope you are successful in never using again. I know of people who were able to stop using on their own, so it is possible and I sincerely hope you are one of them. Will power did not work for me. Like millions of addicts I was not able to stay off drugs untill I surrendered to the fact that in a battle between me and drugs the drugs would kick my ass every time. So I joined NA and learned I was not alone. I found a higher power that could do for me what i could not do for myself. At first that power was the fellowship of NA....now it is a loving and caring God. I work the steps and go to meetings regularly. They keep me refreshed and renewed. If you need us ...we are here. Untill then, be well peace.
WELCOME so glad you joined us..! We do have a solution and it takes some work but the results are a new way of life so much better than any you have known...Keep coming back okay!!!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Welcome! I found that I could not stop using drugs or stay stopped by myself. I needed help and I found it in the NA program. I hope you can make it to a meeting soon. You will find much strength, support, and hope there.
If your family know that your a recovering alcoholic why would you going to a meeting raise suspicion????? Meetings are a key part of our recovery, one addict helping another, and in this addicts experiance living in the lie just makes things worse. It's impossible to start feeling better about yourself when you aren't being honest........
I do feel stronger today about this decision than I did the past few days.
