sitting here thinking...dam im down to one lortab...what to do what to do.take this oppurtunity and just stop?i want to stop,its hard when youre a closet addict.i need to make some decisions and in a hurry.i think sometimes when im high,am i really pulling this off or does everyone know and they arent saying......hy cant i just feel good without getting high....why...why...why!
Because we are addicts, that's why. It's what we do, irreagrdless of the consequences.
I tried to quit for someone else, then she left me! Then what was I suppose to do? I learned to ask for help. GO TO A MEETING, tell your story, it won't get better no matter how hard you sit alone thinking about it.
You can stop using, lose the desire to use, and find a new way of life. We surrender to win!
Hi Dave, Yea I just relapsed in August and am in the process of getting back into outpatient treatment. I have been through about 10-14 treatment centers and I will not go back into inpatient. I am a single mom and just can't do that right now. The past few days I have been trying to find out some information about the medical card and suboxone. Are you familiar with that? I was on it before until I had to quit my job and lost my insurance, and now I think I need to go back on it. It is a security blanket for me, but if it is going to keep me clean and happy than it is well worth it. Do you have any suggestions. Have a great day. By the way, I am from Washington State and thought that I needed to talk to someone. Have a great day.
DarkAngel, Hi, it is O.k., I have relapsed many times and the latest in august. I am presently strung out and yea, I know what you mean. I am in the process of getting into outpateint and into mental health counseling and I get a smile on my face when I say that because we know what we need to do. So, just do it. Nothing ever changes out there, just the date and the weather. Sweetie, if you ever need someone to talk to just write me and we can email each other.
I'm not a medical doctor and I don't give medical advice, especially online. I have no personal experience with suboxone, methadone, or other medications prescribed to deal with withdrawal symptoms. I do have experience with working the NA programs--meetings, 12 steps, sponsor, etc.
i was going to counseling but i stopped,figured it was a waste of time if i was going there loaded.now i am at the point where i want to be high on life.i wonder what that is like..lol!well,i was supposed to make an appt to start treatment for my clinical depression weeks ago,but as usual i didnt follow through with that.i guess when i call about the meetings,i will call about that too,i just have to try to stay motivated.i will post and let everyone know how that went.so,im trying to go pill free tomorrow,wish me luck.
Powerless over our addiction ,our lives are unmanageable.If it rings a bell,stop in Narcotics Anonymous.We do have a solution,takes some desire,willingness,honesty and openmindedness,but you can find a better way to live,a day at a time..Come join us!!
__________________
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
as i sit here thinking and regretting popping those pills earlier today,i am thinking that i am not giving up that easy.i am admitting right now that i am powerless over this addiction.i have 2 other addictions that i am also battling.i hope to use what i learn from NA to conquer those also.dam im a mess..lol.
Stay with it Tammy,RELAPSE IS NOT THE SHAME THE SHAME IS NOT MAKING IT BACK.yOU WILL LEARN THAT ONCE WE PUT THE SUBSTANCE DOWN WE WILL GET INTO THE SOLUTION OF OUR STEPS LEARNING HOW TO DEAL WITH LIFE ON LIFES TERMS WITHOUT MEDICATING OURSELVES.PUT DOWN THE DRUG AND BEGIN YOU NEW WAY OF LIFE,DAY AT A TIME.GLAD YOU ARE STILL HERE POSTING ,STICK AROUND WE NEED YOU!!
__________________
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Yes, absolutely go to meetings. there you will learn that you don't have 2 addictions or 3 addictions etc. You have the disease of addiction.... drug addiction alcohol gambling sex etc etc etc all these are different manifestations of the same disease It is a condition that we recognize and it has a successful treatment. "The solution is in the steps" May you find them soon. peace.
very well put!it is the disease of addiction!well,i am happy to report that i didnt take any min or mood alterning substances today.sooooo...thats a good thing i suppose.monday morning i will be out and about looking for a 12 step program!
Your struggle was our struggle, got past it stop letting the dope CON you, its a con game , thats addiction a con artist swindling you of your life, taking your lifes fortune away, making you believe something that isn't true.
Be true to yourself with this, get past the B.S lies your mind tells you and see the truth in whats happening, this is the first step in the program to be honest enough with yourself to see your lifes unmanageable and that your powerless over the con man, ADDICTION !.
i dont wanna let addiction rob me of my life with my family.when your an addict you do risky things and you dont think of the consequences,i dont want my mom and kids to pay for the things im doing....i have to get myself together.ok...its almost midnight,going into my 2nd day...Lord help me to hold out!
Just for Today I won't pick up. That's how we do it Tammy one day at a time. I used to tell myself (when I felt like using) I can use tomorrow but not today. This helped me get past my cravings one day at a time. Stay strong girl you CAN do this..........
ok..so what the hell do i do with all that time i have on my hands now? im feeling bored outta my dam mind.i have teenagers,so u know im not actually bored...but oooooh im feeling bored to death!i have a million things to do,i know this boredom is all in my head..its like without popping pills and doing this other thing i do which is also addiction my mind is in the duh zone.i know its going to get better..im gonna hold on!
Go to a meeting. Introduce as a newcomer and ask for help. Get as many phone numbers from other women as you can AND CALL THEM boredom is a red flag danger zone that leads to using. the telephone is our lifeline. Surrendering means that you finally admit that you can't fight this thing on your own so let that idea go. seek help, ask for it, use the help that is offerred. You are not alone.
im on that monday morning because this addiction is leading down a path of destrcution that i may not be able to fix later on...i think i am going to tell my mom/best friend that i am addicted to pills...im sure she already knows anyway....my cousin told me this yesterday,she goes...hey tam,u losing weight,u sure u not on dat shit huh?she also said u know ppl dont find out u on dat shit till its too late sometimes...i was like...u mean to tell me that the dope using is showing on me?omgoooodness!
im on that monday morning because this addiction is leading down a path of destrcution that i may not be able to fix later on...i think i am going to tell my mom/best friend that i am addicted to pills...im sure she already knows anyway....my cousin told me this yesterday,she goes...hey tam,u losing weight,u sure u not on dat shit huh?she also said u know ppl dont find out u on dat shit till its too late sometimes...i was like...u mean to tell me that the dope using is showing on me?omgoooodness!
I wish the best D.A. ~ active addiction is a bitch. Recovery isn't easy, but it's well worth the effort!
If you can get to a meeting every day, that helps with the boredom...eventually you find out things about yourself; NA, old hobbies, new activities, new friends, etc will fill up your days...really pretty neat how recovery works in our lives.
People that love us sometimes don't want to believe we are addicts (denial)...might be what's up in your life...never know.
Anyways. Don't use. No matter what. Go to meetings...the rest will fall right into place...and remember, it's worth it. You're worth it.
__________________
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~Oscar Wilde~
I know excaclly what your going thru.2days since last post.Your either in detox or high right now .No matter.What you need to know is when it comes to,logic ,sentiment,the metaphysical (religion),and my favorite free will,this drug you are on is going to win every time.Its easy to plan on stopping when your high.For me its always the true test of will,the 2nd thru 10th day of detox.No way to get around this.You are going to suffer.But you can make it.Than we get clean,but we are still dirty in the way we think.Thats when we need the most help.When we think we beat this thing.Ive beat this addiction a 100 times.At least thats what I thought.What your mind is doing right now is not you,its the drug and all your demons.The demons never go away,but the drug can.To live w/ scars on your soul it what humans do.If the drug wins you die w/scars on your soul.The only humans on planet that will ever understand you,are addicts who have walked in your shoes.I hate to admitt that.It seems to be the reality of this situation we find ourselves in.Man Im still shot enough for today.Fight the good fight the time is now.
no im not in detox,but i have been using.i have signed up for drug treatment which i have to go to orientation tomorrow.i kinda just wanted to go to NA meetings,so i am wondering should i go tomorrow.i didnt want to sign up for anything,i just wanted to show up and be in touch with people that know the struggle.am i wrong for thinking likethis?
Your not wrong for anything.Im still like a flounder fish myself right now.Some of these other guys will let you know more than me.When it comes to this disease I have an IQ compared to a grapefruit.You sound like you want to quit bad.Im going to try to listen to people who have made it.I have not.Ive been called most stuborn person on planet if I make my mind up about something.But this drug has won so far.Listen to these guys who been clean for a while.Thats what Im going to try to do. Ive been up long enough to write this.Back to bed.You are talking to a flounder fish right now with IQ of a grapefruit.Your minds playing all kind of tricks on you right now.We know what your going thru.SORRY. "All things that find the light must endure burning." I forget where I read that.You have to suffer for a while here now. Sorry.Deep down you already know this.Be brave.
sitting here thinking...dam im down to one lortab...what to do what to do.take this oppurtunity and just stop?i want to stop,its hard when youre a closet addict.i need to make some decisions and in a hurry.i think sometimes when im high,am i really pulling this off or does everyone know and they arent saying......hy cant i just feel good without getting high....why...why...why!
.its like without popping pills and doing this other thing i do which is also addiction my mind is in the duh zone
