hey all. i havent been on for quite some time. ive been isolating a lot. today i have yet to get out of bed. still in it. i havent been this depressed in a while. my boyfriend is mad at me (wouldnt you know its about drugs) so ive been sleeping and crying and crying myself to sleep. whats the point in getting up? i do have to work in 45 min if i get up that is. maybe ill just stay home. its rainy and cold out and i just want to bury myself in my blankets. i feel like the world is falling on me, crushing every bone in my body. i cant breathe. my body is cold. i have a football stuck in my throat and weights on my eyelids. Dear God, please fix me. Love Liz.
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Honesty Liz,it is a very refreshing part of all you share.Yup its miserable up here in pk new york too.Think its rained forever.My in laws up from Florida and they are frezzing:) :) anything below 80 and they freeze.... You know the drill"just don't use" and the sun will come out! You are sending the message in the right place.....With God all things are possible! Pretty soon you'll be riding your horses,smelling and shovellin------- :) :) and all you do with the animals you love. Shake it off best you can,come back out ridin hard and all will be well! see ya.............
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Hey Liz, I'm glad you posted. did you get up and go to work? I hope so. depression is a big part of our story for many of us. It certainly is for me. My sponsor has a saying that I found to be very true. "move a muscle, change a mood" Sometimes it doesn't work and I cave in to the funk. but usually it does....it gets me out of it just enough to work at starting my day over. Don't let you boyfriend dictate your actions. Don't give him that much power. peace.
out of our whole relationship he only asked me not to do one thing smoke weed. and i did so i guess he has a right to be mad at me. but we've been dating for almost a year now and havent fought once. and yes i got up and went to work. it wasnt fun and i had the worst migraine of my life but i still got up and sat in the rain for 4 hours. maybe after i sleep some more i wont feel as bad about myself and what not that ill actually get some things done instead of staying in bed all day even though it was nice. plus i was too depressed to get up and eat so i wasnt eating constantly like i usually do since im trying to lose some weight. plus i got 2 cigs left and after that im not buying anymore. im quitting once and for all. even though it usually only lasts about a week :) thanks for the support guys.
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
thanks! ironic thing happened today. when i woke up THE SUN WAS OUT! but then it got cloudy and rainy again. and i hear its suppose to rain for the next 2 weeks. i thought i lived in ohio not washington?
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Maybe you can get to a meeting soon. That always helps me. Isolating and feeling sorry for myself never gets me anywhere. I need to do something positive--for me. The sun will shine again.
i do have to work in 45 min if i get up that is. maybe ill just stay home. its rainy and cold out and i just want to bury myself in my blankets. i feel like the world is falling on me, crushing every bone in my body. i cant breathe. my body is cold. i have a football stuck in my throat and weights on my eyelids. Dear God, please fix me. Love Liz.
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