My 22 year old daughter got out of a treatment center in April, had 90 days sober and slipped, much more than once in the past month or so. Now she tells me she is pregnant and I am terrified for her. Does anyone have any experience with this topic? I know her baby can be born with birth defects, and aside from that she is not sober now. How can I convince her not to go through with this pregnancy? I need help, she is not married and the boyfriend is an alchololic.
Welcome. Unfortunately relapse is a part of recovery for many of us. And just as unfortunate is the fact that no matter how much you love your daughter, you cannot keep her sober. She has to do that for herself. As you know, pregnancy and addiction to any drugs or alcohol are not a good mix. What you can do is 1) Continue to love her, and if you pray, pray for her and her well being 2) Google NAR Anon, or go to NAR Anon.org. They are a group of folks who live with and love those of us who are addicted. They have the experience of dealing with these types of situations and more, and can share their strength and hope with you. There is a difference between loving us and enabling us, and they can help explain that to you. I am still in the process of defining my higher power, my spirituality and my faith, but I do say a few simple prayers, one that includes the still suffering addict and alcoholic and those who love them. I will include you and your daughter,her boyfriend too. Good luck and Peace.
couple things,we are here for each other as addicts working recovery from addiction through our process of Narcotics Anonymous.I can only suggest you contact a local AL-ANON /NAR_ANON program and learn about enabling behaviors and how we are really powerless over what our addicts do.I share this from experience as I am an addict and have a 25 year old son who is in recovery from his heroin addicton since 17 years old(and his gilrfriend also) and I am an active member of Nar-Anon ) (no implied endorsement here).We have gone thru similar experiencesin our family and trying to "convince" others is a very windy road(especially those who remain active and havent made an admission and surrendered yet! You can google both of those sites and find meetings near you.I will lift you up in prayer,please let us know how"you" made out! ADDICTION is no doubt a family disease,but there is a solution....I wish you peace.
__________________
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Oh my, I truly feel for you. If you were an addict yourself, I would remind that step one teaches us that we are powerless over addiction. You can't make her have an abortion. All you can do is find support for your own well being. You absolutely should find a nar anon group in your area, if none are close by al anon will do as well. I wish you well. May she find recovery now.
I do attend Nar Anon meetings and have developed many friendships through this fellowship. I wanted an addict's perspective on this situation. My higher power and I are in touch daily. Thank you for your prayers.
-- Edited by DVDME on Friday 13th of May 2011 12:13:22 PM
I also know I am powerless over her addiction, and not powerless over my enableing. We have come a very long way. This pregnancy puts a new spin on things for me as a mother, and past enabler. I can't draw the line. I am in touch with my Nar Anon friends. Thank you all.
