I met a girl a so called normal girl, that s not in program Chated on the phone with her shared a good part of my storey with her met her for Tea shared more it went well realy well,I ve been c lean coming up on five year s I ve been out a relation ship for almost ten month s .Any way know she want s to know more about my past because she e got kid s I feel ashamed,and guilty all over again and wish I did n t totally open myself like I did ,I wouldn t change my past for any thing it brought to my home in NA And i couldn t be more greatfull to be part of. i m feeling frustrated because have goal s and asperation s in my life ,I think ill practice understanding Tolerrence and exceptence that this will work out just as it should thanx for letting me share .
The past is an important part of who I am. I told my wife about my past when we first met (not the first day of course!). What matters is what I am trying to do today--stay clean and live a spiritual life. I understand that the past can be a source of embarassment, shame, and guilt, but it is important to share it with people that we develop close relationships with. If they care for us, they will accept us.
-- Edited by Dave R on Saturday 7th of May 2011 11:33:01 AM
-- Edited by Dave R on Tuesday 10th of May 2011 05:32:52 AM
After coming out of jail, I was very ashamed of myself. I didn't want to see anyone who knew me before my "crash and burn" I took a job in the next county didn't participate in any social functions and eventually moved. It was fear based extreme seclusion and it was hell. It took a long time for me to get over that. It was gradual at first (time heals all wounds) but after finding NA and working the steps the pace of the healing dramatically improved. i'm not afraid to show my face anymore, to be on facebook, to go out into the world. Self acceptance is a huge part of my recovery program. I still have a way to go in this area but I thank God everyday for the progress I have made. I don't live in constant fear anymore. for me, it's a miracle.
Yeah I have a longgggg criminal history its a bit shameful but thats the past I haven't been locked up since 1996. I have tattoos that are without a doubt prison made so i'm careful where I take my shirt off because I am a little embarrassed about one and I don't pridefully "fly my colors" like I used to but i have let every woman know who is personally involved with me of my past , its just something I let them know about and its never been used against me one.
I think your on the right track David with what you shared.
I don't advertise yet I don't hide the fact that I'm recoverying addict. Many of my customers know because I've told them at appropriate times. I do have a NA pinky ring and a NA belt buckle, both worn most days. People that see them usually assume it's my initials, until they know my name. When asked I tell them. I am not ashamed of being an addict or of my past. My past enables me to better empathize, share and care with those who still suffer, whether from addiction or other life tormoils.
There is no shame in being a Recoverying Addict living and growing in the Narcotics Anonymous program. Zero.
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
