Morning! WELCOME TO ANOTHER DAY OF "LIFE" living the NA way.
My son (25,on april 25th)returned from a 21 day bid at a rehab center (3rd time there) for a probabtion violation from last year when he picked up again after being placed on 5 years.(not being violated and sent to due his time is a miracle in itself)(he has been to 8 Rehabs) He is on 140 mg's of Methadone maintenanace and has been functioning well since August of last year .We have discussed and not agreed on recovery via a substitute alternative but we are all responsible for our own recoveries and must find our own way. When his moother asked him "are you ready to come home"surprisingly he said,yes and no! He said he feels safe being around others,made new friends,(all his other friends still using) and he has history of relapse after jails, rehabs, institutions etc.(been shooting dope since 17)As a parent and an addict we relate on a couple different levels,I share the message of hope and freedom from our process of Narcotics Anonymous (he is not interested ,YET!!!)and know that when he emotionally accepts total surrender and utter defeat that he can move his program forward. I remember a friend sharing one night saying'you know its great all you folks that got double digit years clean and still show up but I need to know what you did "early"you know 3 months ,1 year ,2 years etc..(the suggestions and directions are always the same)but it really brought me back to that point, that even though I have been away from active drug use for a minute that remaining vigilante is so important .We say the illness is insidious(lurking,overtakes without our awareness,waits patiently, deceiving)Tonight when we sit for coffee,pray and hug each other I will remember that this is a day at a time journey, though we share the same disease we are in various stages of our individual processes .I believe the release of fear comes with total honesty(best as humanly possible and making that emotional surrender and be willing to do whatever it takes guided by our Higher Power!(get in our solution,the steps)Thanks for allowing me to take part in my own recovery,I will pray ,That God allows me to share with my son, about a better way to live.I will always leave it to God to work out the results.........
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Thank you for your post. I too am an addict and parent of an addict. My son is 27 and was released last June from his fourth prison term resulting from his actions in his active addiction. I see him now doing what we do, substituting his drug of choice, meth, for prescription pills. I've learned for me, and me only, I cannot 12 step my family. First, like you mentioned, he doesn't want to hear it and secondly, the situation is too close to me. I think as a parent, one of the most difficult things is to watch your child go through the pain of self uselessless and pity and knowing there is nothing you can do other than surrender it to your HP. I shared in a meeting a few weeks back the fear I have for where my son's addiction might take him, an oldtimer shared following about how 'we come into the rooms 'whining' about our kids..waa waa waa' when we just need to 'let it go'....needless to say I caught a resentment, and it reminded me of what I read in the basic text which is "Every addict regarless of clean time, should be able to share his or her pain in an atmosphere free from judgment".. Although I'm fully aware of my powerless over my son's addiction, I'm not hopeless for his recovery. NA has taught me that. Thank you again .
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Carrying the message of hope and freedom from active addiction to the addict who still suffers.
I also have a son that's an addict.My son's clean now after seven tours to drug detox .He has been clean for over six years ,so have I .It was very hard for me seeing him at his worst in active addiction. I supported him all the time.I myself was a using addict for over 39 years .No me and my son attend NA events ,both belong to large sponsorship familys.My grandchild will never see me or his dad in active addiction again.Thanks to the Higher Powe and lots of praying.
