Hey there Sierra and welcome...... I would suggest you ring the NA hotline and maybe get some phone numbers of women that you can talk to in your area, maybe they can even come to you as you can't leave the house......

Hi Sierra,
Welcome!!! I am Kelley, an addict, 51 years old, have a 25y/o daughter and and an 18 y/o son. I have been trying to stay sober for 4 months, and I too have relapsed during that time. Both times I have done so, it has been when I start thinking about being clean and sober for the rest of my life, rather than taking it one day at a time. I say this because I am old enough to be your mother and your child's grandmother, and the thought of being clean and sober for the rest of MY life freaks me out, so I can only imagine where your mind must go when and if you think about it at your age. When I first started in on my recovery journey, it broke my heart to see young kids like you in meetings and in my rehab group, so much so that I almost quit. Today I gain more hope than I can tell you from "you young folks", as you share your struggles and try so hard. I have seen many who have been sober 1, 2 , 3 years and more. NA was not even a blip on my radar at 17, 18 years old, but believe me, drugs were. I had a 20 year more or less "dry" period in my life where I raised my kids and stopped drinking and drugging for the most part, but over the last few years picked up again and about 5 months ago, hit what I thought was my bottom. Unfortunately, two relapses later that was obviously not the case. I became involved in NA 4 months ago. I went to meetings, and I found a sponsor close to my age. I thought she had what I wanted, because she had 8 years, and that's what I want, years of sobriety. Turns out her life was chaos, and now she seems to have fallen off the map. I do not want more chaos in my life, I have enough thank you. So I recently asked another girl I have been listening to at meetings to be my sponsor, and she agreed. I say a girl, as she is half my age. But she has what I want. When she shares, I hear a peace and serenity in her that I am seeking. She glows. I want that. I am having a hard time thinking about turning my life and my will over for the rest of my life, but I can grasp it for one day at a time. That is how she does it. She works the steps. She prays. She gives back what she has. I can do that too. So can you. My last relapse was just last week, after almost 90 days clean. It was after that, another bottom for me, and hopefully my last, that I finally realized that until I actually work the steps with another person, I am not going to obtain long term sobriety. And long term sobriety is not only what I need, but what I so desperately want in my life. I hope you can find the strength to stay clean just for this 24hrs, and find a bit of your own peace and serenity. Please come back and let us know how you are. Read the other posts and shares here, the people are truly amazing. And so are you. Peace.

 

they say this is a simple program for complicated people.  But thats just what it is, a simple program.  I'm new to the rooms too, but I have found that it really does help!  I first changed my people, places, and things, started going to meetings (you can do this online b/c of the house arrest), and created a strong network of sober friends (acquaintance really) I can call for support.  You can do this! 

Im new to this too! Im always here to listen! I've got a 1 and 2 year old so we would have some in common. Before I had my kids I had been to jail and through some ruff stuff as well. So here to help any I can!