People don't understand the shit that I've been though.........
they've taken away everything from me.. So I taking to many pills to ease the pain. It's been hard for me to find myself again. I was so angery at the world. for me that was a dangerous place to be. for months i was caught in the middle and half way inbetween. but i decided to walk with my head held high. now i'm a man trying to survive. i won't put my hands and surrender. there will be no white flag above my door. i will fight until the end because thats all there is left for me. there are days that i want to give up but thats when you try to find the good in life even though sometimes good things in life are hard to find. i have to be strong can't let anything bring me down. I did my time i have the guts and the will wo survive. fight until the end cause your life will depend on the strength that you have inside you. so will you fight..
__________________
one minute at a time it works when you don't give up
"People don't understand me" was a lie I told to myself for years which kept me using drugs. When I started going to NA meetings and listening, I found that I could identify with what other people had been through. Though we had different personal stories and backgrounds, we had the disease of addiction--and the suffering it brings--in common. I found that people could help me, if I let them.
I'd agree intestinal fortitude, guts, can be a good thing. Most of us addicts in NA are survivors. I know I certainly am or I'd be dead many times over. Yet for me there are, have been and will be times when guts just ain't enough, without the aid of my Higher Power. My greatest strength is found in Surrender.
__________________
Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
For years i tried fighting for recovery and it always ended in relapse, now I have surrendered to the programme of NA and I have found peace and a life without having to use. I am an addict and when I try running the show my way it ends in diaster. Surrender is a relief, I couldn't understand this until I tried it........
self centered obsession is the core of our disease..... This is quote from our literature. We find understanding when we seek to understand others. This is a paraphrase from ? We gain strength when we surrender. My track record with "fighting" and will power is dismal. My track record with surrender is pretty awesome. when I stopped trying to control the outcome of my existance a burden was lifted from me and life got better. It continues to get better. Yes, even at age 61 it keeps getting better. No one is more amazed by this fact than me. Peace Jason. May you find it.
i wrote this four years ago and shock that it still gets a reaction like this to it.........i have been though hell and back. now I'm in hell again and feels like there is no way out this time.
__________________
one minute at a time it works when you don't give up
I'm sorry you are in such pain Jason. It's curious to me that 4 years later you would expect a different reaction. The principles of the program haven't changed. The foundation of our recovery is surrender. It is step one for a reason. I find it odd that someone who has been in the program for years views surrender as a defeat. It is clearly a victory. By giving up the fight to control our disease and our destiny we free ourselves to try a new way of life. The 12 steps of Narcotics Anonymous are roadmap to finding peace in our lives. People in chronic pain have found this. People in prison for life have found this. People with terminal illness have found this. The pain may never go away, the jail cell may never open the terminal illness may not go in remission, but as spiritual beings we can invite God into our life, find acceptance and have the best life our situation will permit. You may or may not get well again Jason, but the hell is in your mind. Free yourself. Surrender to a power greater than yourself who is loving and caring. Seek peace. I pray that you find it.
