Welcome!...I'm glad you found us. Go to na.org and follow the links for finding a meeting. Call the help line and tell the person you want help. It all begins with going to meetings. I wish I could answer why you? All I can say is that many of us have asked that question of ourselves. Self centered obsession is the core of our disease. Moving past "why me" to "what can I do about my problem and who can help me" is the direction I would suggest you take. We all come here looking to find a better way to live, one day at a time.