Hi family, my name is Melva R. and I'm definitely an addict, and just for today I am able to accept that fact for what it is. I'm no longer trying to look for loopholes in the program of NA. I've come to know that acceptance is a part of surrender for me which took as long as it took. I'm simply making that statement for me or anyone who wasted a lot of time comparing and not identifying with those feelings of hopelessness,self-pity self-hatred, anger,all those emotions that kept me hostage for what seemed like forever, running constantly when all I needed to do was surrender.
Running on that old thinking that surrender meant giving up and of course where I came from that wasn't going to happen & that type of thinking damn near killed me. I couldn't stay clean. but how bout SURRENDER for me today is that I don't have to fight anymore, SURRENDER means that I don't have to use no matter what. Surrendering to this way of life,following directions listening to how others made it to the other side, basically doing somethinig different instead of what I always did getting what I always got (pain)I Surrendered accepting that my way does not work, all I have to do is tell myself my story and that speaks for itself. NA has worked for countless others just for today I believe that it will work for me too. SURRENDERING daily to the NA way of life. As long as I follow this way of life I have nothing to fear........Thanks for second chances. Melva R.