When a need arises for us to admit our powerlessness, we may first look for ways to exert power against it. After exhausting these ways, we begin sharing with others and find hope.
Basic Text, p. 82
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Weve sometimes heard it said in our meetings that rude awakenings lead to spiritual awakenings. What kind of rude awakenings do we have in recovery? Such an awakening might occur when some undesirable bit of our behavior that we thought safely hidden away is suddenly revealed for all the world to see. Or our sponsor might provoke such an awakening by informing us that, just like everyone else, we have to work the steps if we expect to stay clean and recover.
Most of us hate to have our covers pulled; we dont like being laid naked in full view. The experience delivers a strong dose of humility. Our first reaction to such a disclosure is usually shock and anger, yet we recognize the truth when we hear it. What we are having is a rude awakening.
Such awakenings often disclose barriers that block us from making spiritual progress in our recovery. Once those barriers are exposed, we can work the steps to begin removing them from our lives. We can begin experiencing the healing and serenity which are the preludes to a renewed awakening of the spirit.
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Just for today: I will recognize the rude awakenings I have as opportunities to grow toward spiritual awakening.
Now and then when that driving force in my life is out of control,(no longer drugs) but certainly still unmanageability,I have rude awakenings that let me know I am oh so much better as a person than I was, but I still ain't "that well" My recovery is based on a fit spiritual conditon,a daily reprieve,guided by my Higher Power and by applying spiritual priciples in my life and actions...
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
My rude awakening was when I did my 4th step and saw how many defects of charecter and defects in my personality I had, I got down right scared that nothing would change. I also had some experiences while in my last relationship that brought things to the surface, things i was embarassed about, some codependency issues that were hard to face.
But the main thing is to accept and make changes where needed, and also to turn over what we're powerless over, surprising things occur when I do that, those things may not change right away but eventually they do.
