am recently out of treatment 3weeks now have a sponsor and regulary attend meetings twice a week, not thinking of picking up again just stressed out trying to deal with emotional stuff thought i'd dealt with years ago and is all coming back, using since 11yrs now 28yrs been off street stuff 2yrs, go to church every week and have support from my sponsor and friends, would just like some advice on how others have dealt with this sort of stuff???
Resentments can be tough, they were for me. Working with my sponsor on how and why I felt the way I felt was a relief. We are not alone and we are not unique in our addiction. He told me to go to page 289 of the basic text and that would help me understand uniquness in the program. We all suffer from the same feelings of anixiety, self-doubty and self-pity. I could put the ass kicking machine to work better than anyone. I always have to remember progress not perfection. I remember how I felt after I used and how completly painful it was, carpet cryusin, all noght binders, depleted check books, maxed credit cards, lost jobs, relationships...you know the story. It did not get better over night, but I have been working the NA program for 10 half months and through calling people, hanging out with people in recovery and being honest with myself I have been able to glimpse some sanity. All I know today is that I am an addict, I can not pick up no matter what. If I feel the need to then I need to drop to my knees and ask for God to remove the obssesion. After praying I need to call my sponsor if he is not available I need to call someone in the program. God and NA have given me the tools to help myself, Ineed to use them for what they are for. I am grateful for you, you help me to remeber where I came from, who I am and what I have to due to today.
I was taught that if I didn't like the emotion that I was feeling to hang on - I would feel a new one in about 30 seconds. Sooooooooo true I have found.
Early recovery is full of many emotions - bombarding us so to speak. I think it's mainly b/c we have spent so long NOT feeling ANYTHING that when we do feel something its hard to determine exactly WHAT it is.
Just bear with the feelings and deal with things one at a time - even if it feels like they come at you all at once.
So - congrats on over 30 days!! Remember to do it One Day At A Time
hi amy i just wanted to say that i am very proud of you even though i do not know what an addiction is like you live in maryland i live in pa thats not that far i was just wondering if you would possibly be able to help me find my father a sponsor
Three things have helped me deal with all of the emotional stuff that keeps coming up now that I am clean and sober. First, page 417 of the AA Big Book has some really good things to say. If you don't have/can't get a copy let me know and I will copy it out for you.
Second, I try to remember that any time I am disturbed it is because there is something wrong inside of me. No matter what I am feeling, anxiety, anger, worry, I start an internal dialog to try and get to the root cause of the feeling. About 75% of the time it is completely different than I thought it was. Once I have ferretted out the root cause, I can begin to work on the problem with the help of my sponsor and Higher Power.
Finally, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Whether to my sponsor, someone else in the program, a therapist whoever. If I keep all that stuff locked inside of me, it will team up with my disease and beat the crap out of me. When I share what I am feeling with others, I've got backup.
