oh man where do i start??my name is Joe and i have been addicted to opiates for over 2 years {this time}before that i was doing good for 4 yrs. thanks to a 2 yrs stint on methadone.i have decided i have had enough, dope is ruining my life and I'm about to lose everything again.this past mo. i obtained 15 strips of suboxone from a friend and damn near almost kicked with it i was down to 1/4 strip a day and doing great.unfortunately i ran out before i was able to kick and now he doesn't get them anymore.i have called every sub. doc in my area and there prices are ridiculous so i had to turn back to dope to keep myself well.i need help and i don't know what to do...
Hey Joe ! Welcome to MIP! I can identify as I have a 24 year old son who has been addicted to Heroin since he was 17.He did the same route,actually kicked cold turkey 2x ,once in jail and once in a detox,but couldn't fight off the cravings he said.He was on subs for awhile but said it wasn't helping(he really wasn't ready to get clean)He is now on 125 MG'S of juice and seems content with that.We obviously look at recovery differently but as we know we are responsible for our own recoveries,He knows how much more difficult it is going to be to get completely off Methadone and that will be his decision.For this addict,the only thing that ever worked was complete abstinence and then following up with a support group and working a process a day at a time.Here we always suggest ,putting down the drug,making meetings,getting a sponsor,getting into the spiritual principles of our program(steps/traditions/concepts,sharing as your life depends on it(and it does) and giving back to the best of your ability.You can get a medical detox,my son did twice,but did not want to do any type of recovery work after that and soon picked up again..You have a good start by showing up here,we are one reaching out to another,no judgement ,no advice,just suggestions that we follow through the fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous.I hope you join us,that fleeting thought of living "life" can become a reality but it will take some doing...When the pain outweighs the pleasure(and I believe thats why you are here,your reaching that area)you'll decide how you want to do this.We''ll be here and in the rooms.Come in once and for all from the storm..Keep coming back let us know how its going..You are only 30 miles from me,give me a shout if you want to make a meeting,i'll be there.....!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
thanks mike,for me the hardest part is the physical side of it.if i can get past the sickness i think ill be alright.i've beat it before with methadone which i really don't want to do again it was a real bitch to get off that shit, it took me over 2 years.one of the main problems with methadone is your not in control of your weening and once you get on one of those programs the people that run them really don't want you off.suboxone one the other hand was working great for me. i feel if i had a few more strips i would of kicked it... sorry if I'm ranting I'm just really disgusted with the whole situation.I'm basically spending every dime i have just to stay straight,i cant even remember the last time i was able to get high.
Have you tried going to meetings? Addiction is much more than just physical dependence on a drug. It is also a mental, emotional, and spiritual illness. You need to go to meetings to get help with these aspects of the disease. Many people manage to stop using a particular substance for a while and get through the withdrawals, only to find that they still have a mental obsession with drugs use that leads them back to their drug of choice or some substitute. Or may they get in a tight spot and think that using drugs is the solution and then go back to using. NA (meetings, steps, etc.) can help you deal with the mental obsession part and help you learn to deal with the stresses of life without drugs.
I can't help but think that at some point your just going to have deal with the pain. I know it sucks, but many in the rooms have done it. Methadone, suboxone etc. are still dope. get to some meetings, let people know where your at. There is no requirement in NA that you be clean...only that you have a desire to stop using. My experience is that when a newcomer shows up hurting and looking for help, alot of people will come forward. NA has only one promise "An addict, any addict can stop using drugs and lose the desire to use" It has proven true for many thousands. It can be true for you too.
If you really want to stop using, NA can help, IF you're willing the make the effort. Go to 90 NA meetings in 90 days. Go straight if you can but go loaded if you can't. Just go like your life depends on it. Because it does.
I'm a hope to die dope fiend. I'm also a recoverying addict who's been Clean for many one day's at a time. Addicts always want an easier softer way. In the long run the easier softer way is to surrender. Last time it took you two years to ween off substitute drugs. And you're loaded again. NA works long term if you want it and work it. Yeah, Cold turkey is a bitch, but pain of withdrawal lasts but a week. Been there done that. And Clean 30 years by the Grace of a God of my understanding through the Power of NA.
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
