You're an addict right? You have a Desire to stay Clean right? (That's the only requirement for membership.) You're posting about your challenges living and staying Clean right? Don't know who said you're posts are hurtful but no matter. Post on. I may not relate to some of what you're going through but irrelevant, you aren't posting for me you're post for you. If whoever doesn't like your posts they don't have to read them.

Manon-I suggested, in a private e-mail to you, that it hurts people (LizC, for example-read her post today) to feel fear and concern for you when you post the suicide stuff and they don't know what is going on and are truly powerless to help you, especially when online-only.

Your "goodbye I have actually done it" suicide post last year provoked an enormous outpouring of concern, fear, caring, and emotion from many people on the board. People were very upset---holding a virtual vigil for days, not knowing if you were alive or dead or in a coma or what.

Your best friend and family (sister, I believe) eventually posted on M.I.P. to say you were OK. Your mother e-mailed me. I still have a copy of it. I did not go behind your back or break any anonymity. I responded to her, empathizing as a mother, because I had been through the same thing with my daughter, in ICUs in three different states. I will continue to keep in confidence what she shared. You can be as mad as you wish--you brought it out here, not me.

When I got my feathers ruffled at one point I bailed from M.I.P., but Vini reached out and pulled me back to why we are all here and all have a place and all have a right to our own beliefs, and our own crap. So I came back, with a dose of humility. It is tempting to leave the board when emotions run high, but I hope you won't. For my part, I won't make any comments on your posts at any time. I hope that helps.

To everyone else who reads this, I will not discuss this any further. Believe what you wish.

she did not hurt me. i was just mad because she was being a bitch. we all have our moments of anger, sadness, despair and selfishness but you cant hurt me easily. im a tough cookie and can forget about stupid little things that you say or dont say to me. i cant pick sides on whos right and whos wrong here because i have grown fond of both of you through this forum. dont let what i say in one post decide on whos being hurtful or not. i mean lets face it. i have anger issues. i always have (even ask vini) and sometimes i just blow up without even meaning it. manon if you leave the board that is just one more step of stepping out of my life forever (contact wise) and i enjoy reading your posts seeing whats going on in your life day by day whether it be good, not so good, bad or even horrible. its called freedom of speech. sure this is a place where the theme is MIP and we are here to help each other but what is leaving going to do? make your life worse? isolate you worse? make you more depressed? make you want to use more? you've said yourself many times that your people are in this box called a computer. sure you may not venture out into the world often but thats when you come here. when you isolate yourself you come here. because its easier than going out and making new friends. going to a meeting. getting a job. travelling. doing what you really want to do but are too scared to do. think about it.

Anyone is welcome to post. When people post negative stuff on this board, I try to reply with something encouraging. I try to help people to see beyond their problems and look to solutions in the NA program (meetings, steps, sponsor, etc.)