Hello, I am a Mother of a 24 year old and he has been stuggling with addiciton. He wants help he know he is slipping but I inable him. How much is to much and how little is to little. I can't make him move out he would be living out of his car. I just need a little guidence. I'm raising his 9 month old Son. Please anyone !
You'd likely get your best answers from Naranon members. Naranon is a program for people dealing with addicts while NA is for addicts seeking to recover from the disease of addiction.
That said, IF your son is an addict, an addict will use until all bridges are burned and then keep using in the middle of the fire anyway. We use to live and live to use. He'll use you, steal from you, whatever it takes to get loaded. My mother did in fact kick me out at one point. This was after I'd returned from serving in the miltary, so not a kid. She set rules and I didn't follow them. It's called Tough Love.
I resented her at the time BECAUSE it made my using harder. You bet I lived in cars, a cave, the streets, a condemned house etc. until I was sick and tired enough of where using was getting me. I am responsible for my recovery.
If he really wants help to quit using HE should be posting here, not you.
You could do what courts do for drug related probations, make it mandatory for him to attend a NA meeting a day every day as a condition of living in your house.
My mother and I where on very good terms before she passed and I've been Clean for 30 years.
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
Nar Anon can provide you with some support. If there is no Nar Anon in your area, then Al Anon can help too. It is a 12 step support group, like NA or AA. The most important thing you learn there is that you are powerless over someone else's addiction.
Hello and welcome !! NAR-ANON .ORG....If you google will come up with website with phone numbers and information.I have also been an active member for over 4 years as my 24 yr old son is a heroin addict and I work co-dependancy and other enabling issues in that fellowship.I am also an addict .Thanks for reaching out,addiction is no doubt a family disease and wreaks havoc through the area.For more information you can e mail me on my profile,,,peace........
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Hi Jaqueline. Thanks for the post. I understand both side of what's going on -- you and your son.
For me, when I lived with my parents as a yound adult, they enabled me also. They gave me money, provided a roof over my head, fead me, provided my transportation, put gas in my vehicle, and clothed me. I wasn't asked to contribute to the household. My parents were still "parenting".
When I used narcotics, they knew it, but they turned the other cheek and tried to pretend that it wasn't happening. Eventually they casually asked me about it, then later confronted me about it. I first denied it, but eventually told them them half-truths ... minimized my using and told them I was "really trying to stop."
For some time they were satisfied with me telling them I was trying to stop and gave them all sorts of excuses why I couldn't, or shouldn't. I even blamed THEM for my using.
One day, when I was clean and sober, they told me I had better stop using and get professional help, or pack my bags. One week later thay asked me to leave and said that when I can show them some clean time, I would be welcome back. That was 20 years ago. It made me grow up and accept responsibility.
At the time when they asked me to leave their home I blamed them, thought life was unfair, that they were picking on me for no reason, and that my drug use was not a big deal. I was so wrong and eventually thanked them for making me accept responsibility.
Years later my parents admitted that they didn't want to kick me out, that they worried about me, and that they spent many nights crying. It hurt them that I was using, but it hurt them more that they enabled me to use for the length of time that they did.
The longer you enable someone in their addiction, the longer you will hurt, and the longer it will take for you to recover as well as the addict him/her self. Tough-love is not easy.
be there for him but make him think of his baby that is his responsibilty, i know ur grandma and im sure you will do what ever you can for him but keep him at home spending time with the baby keep his friends away. wish you the best
Tom, Thank you it's been very hard I just told him yesterday that he needs to stop the drugs or get out. I will let it sink in for a few days and see. thank you so much for replying to me I am all alone in this. And thank you for you're prayers.
All u can do is stop enabling. I'm the addict in my family and only just got sober, but I can honestly tell u, NO ONE but me was going to stop me from using...
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Not just one day, but sometimes it's just one minute at a time
Thank you!!! and glad to hear that you're sober. It is the devil I told my Son I kick the devil's ass almost everyday!!!! I have never done drugs and have never been drunk.
well I am a mother of 5 but I am not struggling with that cuz they are not old enough yet to be doing that. But I also wuz an addict but have seeked help and now I continue to stay sober for the simple fact that I have my children to raise. Just stay strong for ur son and help him as much as you can... I wish the best for you...... god bless you
