i have been with my wife for over 20 years she was there when i was'nt i have had so backslides and i know that i have to earn the trust but like any addict i want what i want now but enough is enough i can't take the jealous suspicion any more i have helped to get a new na meetin house in order latly and putting in alot of time on it she is convinced that i am up to something and the fighting starts all over i don't think i am in danger of using but am at mt wits end with her what do i do?
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some of us win some of us lose with god and this program i will be a winner
For God's sake Rocky,,, how familiar our stories are,, you and wife,, me and girlfriend !
As a well-wisher I ask you, is there something particular that's arousin suspicion ? Like actions or what you say or dont say ?
These are ood times for writing and inventorying ones own actions and words. This is the time for the 10th Step.
Remember, though times never last but tough people do. Be tuff on yourself and write buddy,, strange things happen when we work and then live the Steps,,, all to our advantage !
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
i have been with my wife for over 20 years she was there when i was'nt i have had so backslides and i know that i have to earn the trust but like any addict i want what i want now but enough is enough i can't take the jealous suspicion any more i have helped to get a new na meetin house in order latly and putting in alot of time on it she is convinced that i am up to something and the fighting starts all over i don't think i am in danger of using but am at mt wits end with her what do i do?
Me ME ME ME! Yup that's addict thinkin'. IIRC you've got a couple months Clean. When I was new I too dove in head first into service work. I was married. What I did was talk with Debi, though oft times early on it was more like she had to pull anything much out of me. Thing is, she needed some of my time too. In a relationship if it's all about ME it ain't gonna work. Took some time but I had to attempt to find some balance. Maybe your wife would like to spend some time helping you help out getting the meeting house in order. Bottom line you said she's stuck with you for 20 years using roller coaster, she deserves better than to be ignored now.
Just my opinion do with it what you will, Clean 30yrs married longer.
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
i am not ignoring her i try to let her in on what i am doing or to go to the places i go to she opts out her big thing is i am out having fun without her and she can't have that better i am home and in my head than getting to meetings or networking with people about makeing a little money times ae hard and any little bit helps i have racked my brain to come up with my behaviors i do own that i am an addict and i have been a real shit at times but i have moe than just a few months clean i have 2 freinds and a sponser that i claim i don't hang with users at all i tried to make amends with her on more than 1 occasion to get nowhere she really does'nt get the program and won't go to alanon or try to educate herself on the subject at all i get yelling and screaming and more drama than i can handle we have a 17 yr old dd son who has to listen to her crap and does'nt think i amm to crazy the 8 other kids have all told her to get a grip i keep thinking that it will get better but i lost hope
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some of us win some of us lose with god and this program i will be a winner
try to involve your wife in what your doing. we tend to get jealous because you guys spend your time every were else but with us. we dont do in on purpose we just need you guys more than you know. good luck with you and your wife.please dont let that bring you down.
It is not uncommon for people to get clean, then get a divorce. Your wife knew the 'old' you. For better or for worse, that was person she was married to. Now you get clean, join NA and change. Now she is married to the 'new' you. She is angry, confused, and hurt. In her mind it's still all about you. This is a classic step one situation. You are absolutely powerless over how she reacts to your involvement in the program. All you can do is endeavor to do the next right thing, be sensitive to her concerns and stay clean. It will either work out or it won't. but regardless of what happens if you sincerely seek to do your HP's will then it will be for the best. trust the process.
