I really just don't have the energy to stay awake nor the desire my mind has been racing about mindless stuff so no real problem other than the cars but shit happens I 'll do what i can to get them taken care of might take a year to save the money to fix the new car thankfully I had not sold the Nissan now I gotta replace the cluths and battery which no biggie compared to the number I did on the new car the money part is bothering me the escort service seems to be the only way out but I hate hate hate the job description Granted it is always up to me on what i do But that is where the money is....All I know how to do is shut down can't even get outta the house very well with the anxiety when I first staarted the job a bit back it used to make me shake with fear going to see clients I managed to stay clean for the most part of the job but damn there has to be an easier way that does not add more debt yet helps me get the car going I wanna scream one thing after another but damn w/e it takes right???
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
I gotta agree with Mike..."whatever it takes" at the time may not necessarily be the best thing for our recovery in the long run. I try to think through any major decisions that may effect my ability to stay clean, either now or down the road. It doesn't always work out the way i've envisioned it, but as long as i search thoroughly for the best path (meditate/pray on it, talk to my sponsor and others in the fellowship, etc.) i know at least i will have done all i can to make the right choice.
