When I was away in a rehab facility, I met some people that I bonded with. I have talked to a few since I left. What are your personal thoughts on maintaining friendships that were started in rehab?
I know any freindship I ve made in recovery i do my best to maintain,My freinds from rehab are gone And I don t know were,I miss them though.Keep comin back we need you.
When I was away in a rehab facility, I met some people that I bonded with. I have talked to a few since I left. What are your personal thoughts on maintaining friendships that were started in rehab?
If they're working a program of recovery absolutely. If they think rehab cured them then at best they'll be a hindrance to YOUR recovery, at worst suck you back down into the mire of active addiction.
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
hhhmmmm.....wondering about what is prompting you to ask the question?
i guess i'm just curious. i have spoken to a few of them and each one has relapsed....one girl, i believe, might even be dead....she was like a daughter to me...her personality larger than life but she was soooooo lost.....we kept in touch sporadically and then no one could find her ...she got kicked out of her halfway house and was last seen living on the streets of philly......it is so easy for me to fall into 'rescue mode' when i come across someone who touches my heart, you know? i hope she is still alive......and more importantly, i hope she is not suffering anymore but embracing a program of recovery....i guess you kind of bond with the people you go through detox and rehab with...BUT when you leave you cannot allow that very bond to compromise your sobriety....at one point, i wanted to drive to philly, find her and pull her off the streets and take care of her but then i realized that i first need to take care of DEB
Personally, I think that newcomers hanging out with each other is more bad than good. On the one hand, people have bonded and can help each other, but I have seen one person who relapses bring down their newly clean friends way more than i have seen the clean one keep the relapser from using. It's just my experience. So, ultimately I would suggest to let the people you met in rehab find their own way. Perhaps you will meet them again at a convention. But you need to stay clean today. One excellent way of doing that is by surrounding yourself with people who have lots of clean time.
Personally, I think that newcomers hanging out with each other is more bad than good. On the one hand, people have bonded and can help each other, but I have seen one person who relapses bring down their newly clean friends way more than i have seen the clean one keep the relapser from using. It's just my experience. So, ultimately I would suggest to let the people you met in rehab find their own way. Perhaps you will meet them again at a convention. But you need to stay clean today. One excellent way of doing that is by surrounding yourself with people who have lots of clean time.
I've gotta say, while I chat with some that are new to the program, I try to stay away from (ie, hanging out, coffee, etc) those who have recently relapsed or who are still struggling like myself... You would think, it'd be better to be around people going through the same thing, but it's not... For me, I'd rather be around my sponsor, or my cousin, who have over 20 years clean combined, because I know if I am weak, I can at least talk to them (though a recent JFT (or AA reading, I can't remember which) reminded me that the best *person* to rely on is my higher power, because sometimes friends, sponsors cannot answer the phone when we need them most. Anywho, point is... I agree with Avid...
A sponsee of my sponsor, very sweet girl, gives me the shivers... I just look at her, and I can see that she is faltering inside, that she wants to use more than anything to take her pain away... I called her on Christmas Eve just to say hi, see how she was doing & how her Christmas with her daughter went... and she kindly offered me to stay at her house if I'm every too tired to make the hour commute back home... but that just makes me say, hmmmm no thank you. Not cuz I don't like her, not cuz I don't trust her as a human being... but I just don't want to step near the predicament if she's having a bad day and wants to use... I don't have the strength to help her get through it without using...and I don't want to jeopardize my own recovery... It's tough, because I want to relate and meet new people... but I can't... for my sake.
ok so i was in a rehab too. i told myself b4 i went that im not there to make friends but if i do its a bonus. i ended up makin friends. when i got out i kept in touch w only a few & still do. most of the others relapsed the day they got out. its hard to wanna b friends w them. i couldve easily relapsed but i found othr ways to dealw that. but for mr im goin to keep in touch w the selective few & c where it goes. they r in halfways houses & one in a rehab i cali. so if think it will work ok if u have doubts dont do it. good luck
