I was reminded today about the necessity of working a thorough step 2.
There was a meeting and someone with a number of years clean was in a rage. He was talking about being 'dissed' and the "law of the streets" with all the violence, revenge, and anarchy.
I didn't hear him once mention powerlessness, surrender, or turning his life over to a higher power.
The basic text warns "some of us did not take this step seriously at first, we passed over it with a minimum of concern only to find the next steps would not work until we worked step two."
Coming to believe that only a power greater than my disease and myself could restore me to a sane and manageable life is a cornerstone of my recovery.
I need the God of my understanding to do the things for me that I cannot do for myself. Without the willingness to accept Him into my life, I would still be the same miserable self centered mess I was before I found the program.
If your struggling and not sure why. Revisit step 2. It just might be the most important step you ever take.
thank you for this post, avid. i have found that i need to re-affirm my decision to surrender and turn my will over on a DAILY (if not hourly!!) basis. we, as addicts, have a habit of taking back our will when we feel it would make a situation easier to deal with. my obsession with trying to control every part of my life makes this step extremely uncomfortable, but growing pains hurt. I guess this has more to do with step three, the actual "decision" to turn over my will....but the foundation is established in the second step and coming to believe that our higher power could restore us to sanity. anyway, being completely thorough and entirely honest in our working of the steps is ESSENTIAL, and it is the only way we can get the help that lies within them.
Totally Don! says this step is "necessary' to achieve ongoing recovery!!! Writings tell us "as soon as a man(woman) can say he does believe or is willing to believe (in a Power greater than himself)we assure him he is well on his way. That upon this simple cornerstone ,a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built......Oh yeah!!!!!!!Not only do I revisit ,it is the guide for my life.....Happy Holidays my brother,Love you also!!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
oh boy, then I must really be frakked. I mean, I gots me multiple years of cleantime (note the lack of mention towards "recovery"). I have written the 12 Steps of NA many times. My sponsor once said that I no longer work the Steps, but live them.
Is that to make me the perfect recovering addict? I hope not, because even with my time in NA, the recovery I have found, the service that I do... wow, I must really and truly be frakked beyond hope. Because (and hang onto your hats, boyz & grrlz, addicts of all ages!) even Ioccasionally fly into rages about self-perceived injustices in life.
oh my. oh dear. And what I usually do when that happens is go to a meeting and share that rage with my fellow addicts in recovery. Jeepers, I mean, like, at a meeting, eh. I will ramble and grumble and express my rage in whatever means I can. Now, methinks that I am truly sicker than all of you. Because even tho' I thought that I was recovering, now I see that being a human being isn't allowed to me.
Even when, after I share my rage, addicts tell me how they sometimes feel the same. They tell me what worked for them to get thru angst and frustration. They offer me their solutions or ask me to let them know how I finally get thru it all. I guess that I am simply not working my recovery, regardless of what my sponsor says, despite the things I thought I learned at my home group, despite the self-centered idea that I actually help my sponsees.
Oh well, I gotta go now. I'm currently writing Step Two in a Step Group and we are meeting tonite to go thru our work so far. I'll tell the boyz that we better get this Step hard, down, and solid before we travel on to the third Step. Otherwise, we may just fly off into a rage at a meeting. Somewhere. Somewhen. Somehow.
Flying into rages, no that shouldn't be happening theres not a god damn good excuse in the world for that other then the lack of working spiritual principes and all our affairs, ALL, every last rotten affair that we come across, even and especially the ones we dont like or agree with.
Am I guilty ? yes but not to the degree I was doing it last year, last year I was insane , out of control, not working much spirituality in my life, then something happened.
I got a new God conscousness, I worked thru the steps, I began actively practicing spiritual principals, started making meetings daily, stayed in contact with a sponsor and shared with him and in meetings.
When in doubt, fear and anger I turn my will and my life over to God now, it works im not out of control with angry, I stop being selfish and self centered.
Selfishness is the root of almost all my troubles once thats gone I am not hurt .
I had a guy who works for me tell me one day that i dont practice what i talk about in the meetings, I got hurt but I took a look at it and he was absolutely right, and thank god he told me.....thats what we're here for to support and pull covers we've all had enough enabling by others .
-- Edited by BigV on Wednesday 22nd of December 2010 10:45:48 AM
I agree and if WE don't have Step 2 down - WE probably don't have step 1 down in that area of OUR life..There is a reason for divine order..Awesome stuff Avid
Agree 100% with everything said in the thread, that means you too Robb!
Know someone who came in a few years after me with a couple decades Clean now, who still refuses to use the word God as it applies to his recovery. He only talks about God in rebuttal to others talking about how seeking spiritual guidance through the God of their understanding works for them. NA not any God is his only Higher Power. He was also one of the ones years ago who once or twice threw chairs in the meeting in his rage. And we loved him and said Keep Coming Back. Not thrown at anyone or our reactions would have been different.
I've watched through the years as his rages grew less and less. Did seem to me his growth was slower than many, but so what. Not my job to take his inventory or work his program. He has been Clean over twenty years and today is a responsible, productive, member of society. He still attends meetings now and then sharing his ESH. While he never got involved in formal service work, he carried and continues to carry the message to other recoverying addicts in his own way hard core biker way.
The only requirement for NA membership is the DESIRE to stop using, nothing more nothing less. We love each other even if we or they can't yet love ourselves. For me to judge another addicts recovery is placing myself on a pedestal which I cannot afford to do.
And yeah I'm frakk'd too, or was until I found NA.
That said, the first three Steps are indeed the foundation of my recovery. My recovery, not for me to force the Steps on anyone. They were not forced on me, I freely accepted them because I heard others say they worked for them, saw a twinkle in their eyes as they spoke of them. They seemed to be learning to live and love life on life's terms. I wanted that so badly! I surrendered and received hope if they could work for others they could work for me too, it was my choice.
It hurts when I see addicts unable to surrender to the spiritual principles of the NA program that work so well for me. But I can not force them, even if it means they die so I might live as has happened far too many times. Yet all we can offer is our experience, strength and hope praying they will also find their path in recovery. I do not judge them, I pray for them.
-- Edited by Mike M on Friday 31st of December 2010 11:46:52 PM
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
Not only do I revisit ,it is the guide for my life.....Happy Holidays my brother,Love you also!!
