When I walked into my aviary to feed the parrots one morning, Yogi made mean faces at me and tried to bite me. My heart sank; my first reaction was, I must have done something wrong to make him dislike me. Yogi kept up this behavior over a period of weeks until I discovered that he had taken up courtship with one of the other birds, and he had gone into a protective mode stemming from his mating instincts. When I realized this, I felt relieved; it was just a genetically dictated bird thing and had nothing to do with me.
When someone is unkind or abusive toward you, dont take it personally. Anger is more about the giver than the recipient. If you accept their attack as a statement about you, you will not see clearly, and the situation will be even more muddied. Do not accept their gift, and you will help them face their own issues.
Cultures, genders, and belief systems have unique properties that are statements about the giver, not the receiver. Just as my birds aggressive behavior was a bird thing, there are ethnic things, man things, woman things, and religion things. Do not confuse a programmed behavior with a statement about your own value or the person who is speaking.
My friend who had emigrated from Russia was very aggressive, and I often felt intimidated by her. Then I went to Russia and stood in a crowd at a department store. The only way I was able to catch the attention of the clerk was to literally push my way to the front of the mob. That experience gave me an important insight into my friends programming, and I was able to understand her behavior. No one is mean on purpose. Since love is our nature, anything unlike love is a statement of an individuals history of pain. Unkindness is not an attack, but a call for love.
I pray to see myself as innocent, along with my brothers and sisters.
Through the eyes of love I behold only love
A.Cohen
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Cool Raman.right in line with the ""Second Agreement' from Wisdom of the Four Elements by Don Miguel Ruiz,...says Don't Take Anything Personally..Personal importance or taking things personally is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about "me"...A hard concept for anyone especially obsessive/compulsive people like we tend to be(keep it on myself,as I tend to be)I tend to want to retaliate,sulk,ignore etc. instead of releasing the idea that it is more about the other person and I can choose how to interpret it.....Thanks for reminder as I have not mastered this emotion by any means but I am more aware today....
-- Edited by MIKEF on Thursday 16th of December 2010 03:18:09 PM
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I need all the wisdoms I can have,, especially those concernin peopl.... that is the greatest challenge in my recovery, people...
Me that was a wanderer, full of wanderlust and short, unsorted, uncommitted relationships am now astounded as to how much I have to work, on a daily basis to keep my serenity !!!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
