When we see how our defects exist in our lives and accept them, we can let go of them and get on with our new life.
Basic Text, p. 35
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Sometimes our readiness to have our character defects removed depends on what we call them. If misnaming our defects makes them seem less defective, we may be unable to see the damage they cause. And if they seem to be causing no harm, why would we ever ask our Higher Power to remove them from our lives?
Take people pleasing, for example. Doesnt really sound all that bad, does it? It just means were nice to people, right? Not quite. To put it bluntly, it means were dishonest and manipulative. We lie about our feelings, our beliefs, and our needs, trying to soothe others into compliance with our wishes.
Or perhaps we think were easygoing. But does easygoing mean we ignore our housework, avoid confrontations, and stay put in a comfortable rut? Then a better name for it would be laziness, or procrastination, or fear.
Many of us have trouble identifying our character defects. If this is the case for us, we can talk with our sponsor or our NA friends. We clearly and honestly describe our behavior to them and ask for their help in identifying our defects. As time passes, well become progressively better able to identify our own character defects, calling them by their true names.
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Just for today: I will call my defects by their true names. If I have trouble doing this, I will ask my sponsor for help.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm....I immediately got defensive after reading this. Maybe, just maybe I have done what it is talking about. Naw.........not really,,,,,I mean maybe I used to a little bit, but y'know not so much anymore so I guess it doesn't really apply to me. Whew, what a relief. So glad to know that I'm doing just fine thank you.
