We entertained the thought that staying clean was not paying off, and the old thinking stirred up self-pity, resentment, and anger.
Basic Text, p.102
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There are days when some of us wallow in self-pity. Its easy to do. We may have expectations about how our lives should be in recovery, expectations that arent always met. Maybe weve tried unsuccessfully to control someone, or we think our circumstances should be different. Perhaps weve compared ourselves with other recovering addicts and found ourselves lacking. The more we try to make our life conform to our expectations, the more uncomfortable we feel. Self-pity can arise from living in our expectations instead of in the world as it actually is.
When the world doesnt measure up to our expectations, its often our expectations that need adjusting, not the world. We can start by comparing our lives today with the way they used to be, developing gratitude for our recovery. We can extend this exercise in gratitude by counting the good things in our lives, becoming thankful that the world does not conform to our expectations but exceeds them. And if we continue working the Twelve Steps, further cultivating gratitude and acceptance, what we can expect in the future is more growth, more happiness, and more peace of mind.
Weve been given much in recovery; staying clean has paid off. Acceptance of our lives, just for today, frees us from our self-pity.
Self-pity is a dangerous trap for me. To avoid it, I need to keep focused on what I am grateful for in life, which is much indeed. I am grateful for being clean today and all the other wonderful things that recovery has made possible including family, friends, career, and health.
Big part of our 3rd step for me is commitment,,even when I seem to be doing all the "right" things but everything may seem to be going wrong!.Thats the time for me,to go inside,be grateful for life and thankful for God allowing me to still be here to have any feelings at all......!!I am truly grateful.......
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I need to remind myself of the gifts I am blessed with on a daily basis. It is so easy and natural for me to slide down the self pity route. Gratitude lists work.
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