So just wondering sometimes when i really want some pain pills i tell my fiaince that if i take em ill be in a good mood or ill be really lovey .. and he is totally against them he has never taken one he is kinda a goody when it comes to that stuff but even tho he hates them and has got mad at me b4 about taken them its like now when i get mad at him or im grumpy he wants me to take them so im happy and at first i was glad i didnt have to hide em but now if im feeling weak and want em he dosent even put up a fight and it makes it hard to b strong when if its so easy.. if he would jus tell me i dont want u to my craving would go away but instead he gives in i dont know what to do i need him to help me
It's so hard for our significant others to understand and deal with our recovery process, maybe you could suggest he go to Naranon meetings he will be able to get the support he needs to get through this with you....
Hey Rosa!!!I agree with RUTHY,I have been an active member of Naranon(no implied endorsement here) for just about 4 years as my son (24 now) is a hard core Heroin addict(on Methadone now) but still off and on in his struggle....It had really shaken my own recovery and it was helpful for me,even though as an addict,there was not much I could do but remember to keep my process first and allow the God of my understanding to work out results of his actions and life.It is good to sit with others who are sharing the same situations,one way or another at meetings and doing service there also to help not only yourself but others just coming in.(basically same 5th tradition(only familes/friends of addicts) Remember also,using outside situations to control other situations can be very dangerous for your own recovery and also for the sanity between you and others.JUST DON'T USE,it will get better,not necessarily easier ...thats "life on life's terms coming at ya!!! Keep sharing ,we are here for each other,Have a blessed day and safe holiday!!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
HEY MY SISTER - IF YOU WANT TO GET CLEAN - THEN YOU HAVE TO QUIT PLAYING THE GAME AND BECOME RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN RECOVERY..QUIT ASKING - START WALKING IN RECOVERY..NOT TAKING ANYTHING - HOPE THAT HELPS - TIME TO QUIT DIGGING YOUR BOTTOM. LOVE YOU SIS
HI Clarissa, You have to ask yourself "do I want to stop using drugs?" If the answer is yes, then go to meetings and rely on the fellowship to show you how. He has nothing to do with your using. It's your choice to take the drug. Nar anon, or if not available then al-anon, is definitely a good move for him, but it's you we are here for.
thank u all so much and it does make sence that it is not ok for me to use jus because he says its ok to make me happy and yes i do wanna be clean just very hard at times... i quit smoking ciggs about 2 yrs ago because my daughter said she didnt like it some times i feel if i started smoking ciggs again it b easier to quit this but i really dont wanna replace the addiction sometimes i just need something to calm me .. or maybe i just need to learn how to calm myself without anything
That's a dangerous game there Girly. I know for me I had to put it ALL down COMPLETELY!
I did it for me, to save my life. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had tried all the gimmicks, games, remedies anything I could think of to continue to use and you know what?...
It all lead me right back down the same road. It is a progressive disease and will only get worse.
You have to make the choice for you and turn to your HP for help.
or maybe i just need to learn how to calm myself without anything
Now your talking...But it's not without anything.. It's just without anything that you put in your body namely drugs. You are not alone. Step 2 "Came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity" Coming to believe that a loving, caring, higher power can do for you what you cannot do for yourself is a HUGE relief. Then of course there is the phone. Speaking with other recovering addicts when stressed gets us through many difficult situations. God bless you.
Hello all and I hope you don' think I am hijacking your thread Clarissa but its the first post I have read that I can relate to (just joined site today).
My partner of 15yr is previous heroin addict and even though she kicked it when we met and was clean, she wasn't in recovery till 9 month ago when she found NA. Due to a accident a number of years ago she has been on codeine pain killers for years. Only found out she was abusing them just before she found NA. As the other half I have gotta say I have found this so hard to deal with. I am generally a 'fixer of problems'. I find it very hard to just listen and not offer solutions. This is her recovery and she needs to lead on it - this I know.
I took her tablets (at her request) and put them in her daily tablet box. Her pain has increased from her accident recently and she has relapsed. Took about 30 tablets over 24hrs and was very spaced out. I didn't see this coming at all. She took them out of future days slots in the tablet box thingy.
Now she is back at square 1/day 1. My first reactions were anger and disappointment. I have tried so hard to be there in the right way and it feels like it was for nothing. We have kids and I have to think of them before either of us. My dad was alcoholic and it was a horrible and neglectful childhood.
Clarissa.....I wish you well in your recovery as I do everyone who chooses to make today better than yesterday. No doubt it's hard and this is something I will never understand as I am not the addict and find this so frustrating.
What can I do and where can I go? I can't find online meetings for F+F of addicts. My partner goes to 3 meetings a week and I work so with the kids also I am finding it very hard not only to support my partner but myself also. I became very withdrawn and down just over a year ago and I don't want to go there again. It wouldn't be good for any of us.
Sorry I have mumbled on, but I am loosing direction day by day.
Take care all and thanks for taking the time to read.
Well HB .. It was eye opening to me to read ur post becuse im sure it is alot how my family and friends feel . I am not sure exactly what to say exept what I want from my loved ones and that is to be there for me and know that I am not perfect and I will make mistakes and setbacks and if I do I hope they want get mad at me cu cuz im not sure bout ur wife but I am very fragile and I feel that I can break at any moment .. I dont need anyone yelling at me or lecturin me cuz that makes me wanna run to the thing that has always helpwd me deal... But I hoped mayb that helped a lil but like I said i dont know if im the best to b givin advice ... I am new to all this hardest thing ive ever did in my life... I wish u and ur family all the strength and love to get threw this
