If [character defects] contributed to our health and happiness, we would not have come to such a state of desperation.
Basic Text, p. 35
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Getting started on the Sixth and Seventh Steps isnt always easy. We may feel as though we have so much wrong with us that we are totally defective. We might feel like hiding under a rock. Under no circumstance would we want our fellow addicts to know about our inadequacies.
We will probably go through a time of examining everything we say and do in order to identify our character defects and make sure we suppress them. We may look back at one particular day, cringing at what were certain is the most embarrassing thing weve ever said. We become determined to be rid of these horrible traits at all costs.
But nowhere in the Sixth or Seventh Steps does it say we can learn to control our defects of character. In fact, the more attention we focus on them, the more firmly entrenched they will become in our lives. It takes humility to recognize that we cant control our defects any more than we can control our addiction. We cant remove our own defects; we can only ask a loving God to remove them.
Letting go of something painful can be as difficult as letting go of something pleasant. But lets face itholding on is a lot of work. When we really think about what were holding onto, the effort just isnt worthwhile. Its time to let go of our character defects and ask God to remove them.
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Just for today: Im ready to have my defects removed. I will let go and allow a loving Higher Power to care for me.
For me, I need to be willing to do things differently and I need to ask for God's help. I haven't found that my defects of character actually leave, but there do become better (less bad) as I work steps 6 & 7.
These steps were pivotal for me this last year, I wanted to run or hide under a rock like it says.
It took faith and humblying myself to God and to the program, i had to force myself to believe but i had little choice, it was either stay and work through the process or die, thats how I saw things.
And i'm glad I stayed.
Thing change, we're able to alter them. I know when i turn things over to God my higher power and refrain from my will things go the way they ought too but i have to stop fighting to have it my way and surrender . Doing that in all my affairs isn't easy.
I've been up a half hour and already I want what I want both times I've had to let go and let god because I have no power over these things , I have no control but theres a side of me who thinks i'm god I guess LOL...
