ever since my last oops i am having trouble fighting temptation I am sure I have a reservation the "powerless" part seems weak and I am not a weak person so I am really struggling with step one and until I get it done and actually surrender I am stuck I don't like that feeling surrendering to anything since my old shrink is hard I feel like 'i have to be in control but with the self honesty stuff yes my life is unmanagable even if its just a shot i have not drank to get drunk but to be accountable for my actions requires complete abstinence so after the fact I go thru the what was I thinking or do I really have a prob with drinking but its a no brainer I blacked out on labor day drinking the first time I ever blackout that is what shook my reality so damn any suggestions would be great thanx once again for letting me share
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Suggestions are useless if people don't take them...maybe ask yourself what you would say to a fellow addict in such a situation? Think about it--really. That is my suggestion, offered with care & concern. (Lee's feeling like being blunt today-probably over tired.)
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
Manon - just a suggestion - We practice Step 1 on a daily basis - not think of the rest of my life..My question - can you not drink? do you think about drinking? normal folks don't have to ponder questions like this - bottom line - Are you an addict? we don't have to determine which type of addict. Just when I use anything does my life take on drastic changes. Only you can answer this question - Once you have answered it honestly - Then we practice staying clean one day at a time - thru not picking up anything that causes me harm - for now could be drugs/alcohol/relationships - see until we get a clear understanding how certain things causes me more pain than necessary and how to walk thru them - we probably should stay clear and the more we stay clear - The clearer we become - and during that time - we work some more steps, we go to meetings, we pray to HP, we connect, we stay honest and you know how the rest goes. It's important not to play mind games with oneself when entering into a new way of life. Keep it simple - really - keep it simple..Hang in there - you keep coming back for a reason..Trust your reasons
How's that working out for you? Seriously, we surrender daily because we learn that when we try to take control we screw ourselves up. So we surrender to the fact that we are addicts, we can't use any mind or mood altering substance. Period. We ask God to guide our life today. And then we go forward strengthened by the fact that when we seek to do His will (allow Him to control things) then our day will be the best it can possibly be. I can't tell you how much my life improved when I practiced this principle.
My suggestion would be to look in the NA basic text. On page 18 (sixth edition) just before Step 1. There are some questions that you need to ask yourself. Are we sure we want to stop using? Do we understand that we have no realcontrol over drugs? Do we recognize that in the long run we didn't use drugs - they used us? Do we fully accept that every attempt to stop using or control our using failed? Those are just some of the questions. If you wanted to you, you could just substitute the words drugs for alcohol.
