remind me to never do that again way too much stress but they are on thier way home I am not sure how I feel about it but I know I am not walking on egg shells anymore he is glad to be going home he was supposed to leave at 3 am this morning but too drunk would not let him travel so I took him today his bus arrive 6 something I took him early I did not realize how much stress Iwas under till now when I feel like I can breathe get out of the house without worrying if something is stolen yada yada yada but any way like Isaid there is alot of confusion on the way I actually feel about being alone again I am grateful he will no longer raise his voice to me and I am no longer intimidated if by some chance he cannot board the bus he is close to the shelter and is no longer my resposibility never was but I took it on my self thinking I was helping so I am grateful some of this is over and I made it thru the rest of the time clean since my oops now I can focus on me instead of him and his shit and if I was in danger of his anger, putting that litely but its over and i feel like i can rest.
Had to call the pain specialist friday apperenttly I have what is called a spinal headache due to the epideral that was administered when I went to my pain doc last I thought it was a migraine till I talked to the nurse they are supposedd to be calling me tomorrow to tell me what to do besides push caffine I am glad I am adhd or this coffee would give me the jitters

NOw that  my house is mine again I am hoping thatI can get to som e face to face meeting was talking to a friend that is local in NA here truying to get the meeting schedule went to NA.org could not tell which meeting I used to go to every location seems to havae changed but I am going to take the time to work on my now!!!!!!!!!!!