i find these days that i have no sympathy or empathy for others and their problems i know this is a big short comming in me and i see no way around it i find that i can't even listen to people and their stories anymore my bs meterr starts dinging and i can't turn it off i don't feel like using but i don't seem to feel at all what bothers me is that i can't put my fingers on any one thing that set this off iguess i amm just to the point that i am full up of others not being open and honest about addiction and the problems that attend this disease that i just won't listen anymoe to anyone got any ideas?>???
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some of us win some of us lose with god and this program i will be a winner
This to will pass. When I go through this I find that it's got more to do with me than those around me. The answers are in the steps......Step work is a great grounding tool for me. Journaling also helps me to get to the bottom of things....
Sometimes I need to shake things up for myself by seeking out different meetings, different people, reading different material (usually the older writings--NA's Little White Book, or AA's historical books), and cultivating some different hobby or form of entertainment. I too lack tolerance for those who just plain don't seem to really want it, and truely don't "get it", but sure talk a good--usually robotic--game. I see that nothing changes and the drama just goes on and on and FOR ME, I just cannot afford to be dragged down by that. So I MUST take action to protect my own sobriety when those feelings start to perk. The fact that you are aware of where you are at and wanting to do something about it is worth gold!
-- Edited by LeeU on Tuesday 19th of October 2010 08:03:43 PM
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
I can relate to having a sensitive BS meter. I too, get tired of hearing people whining, dumping, and opining in NA meetings. As was shared, I can try going to different meetings, mixing things up. I can also try working on me. When I am growing intolerant of others, it usually means my ego is getting too big and I am trying to run the show. Step work, prayer and meditation, and service work can help keep my ego (pride, arrogance) in check so I can be accepting of other people. Keep coming back!
Hey Rocky! yup time to shake things up..NEW MEETINGS ,OUT OF TOWN ETC..In 12th step tells us that if we are sharing,dumping,whining etc without tying it to a message of recovery OR SOME POINT it is not really serving our primary purpose..Have you shared this feeling at any meetings.Probably get some heat,but at least can get it out...Will probably talk about tolerance and other principles along those lines but we do get weary.At least you can talk about it here. I.Can only suggest not letting this isolate yourself or let it take you out of your process.Have you sat with your sponsor about this,,,?Anyway ,hang in there, go back through your step work writings and above all get with your God.sTAY CLOSE LET US KNOW HOW YOU DOING IN COUPLE DAYS!!! PEACE....
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
When we get frustrated or angry with others, we are advised to pray for them. I found this to be so hard when I first tired it. But I kept at it. It got easier, and guess what? It works. It's hard to be judgmental and hostile to someone you are praying for. Of course the person who gained the most was me. I no longer have to carry that person in my head or feel the tension and stress that comes with resentment. It's a beautiful thing.
