As recovering addicts, we find that we are still dependent, but our dependence has shifted from the things around us to a loving God and the inner strength we get in our relationship with Him.
Basic Text, pp. 71
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For many addicts, rebelliousness is second nature. We didnt want to depend on anyone or anything, and especially not on God. The beauty of using, we thought, was that it gave us the power to be and feel anything we wanted, all by ourselves. But the price we paid for this illusory freedom was a dependence beyond our worst nightmares. Rather than freeing us, using enslaved us.
When we came to Narcotics Anonymous, we learned that dependence on God didnt have to mean what we may have thought it meant. Yes, if we wanted to be restored to sanity, we would need to tap a Power greater than ourselves. However, we could choose our own concept of this Higher Powerwe could even make one up. Dependence on a Higher Power would not limit us, we discovered; it would free us.
The Power we find in recovery is the power we lacked on our own. It is the love we were afraid to depend on others for. It is the sense of personal direction we never had, the guidance we couldnt humble ourselves to ask for or trust others to give. It is all these things, and it is our own. Today, we are grateful to have a Higher Power to depend on.
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Just for today: I will depend on the love and inner strength I draw from the God of my own understanding.
I was scared, at first, that turning my will and life over to the care of a God of my understanding would be the end of my life, but I was wrong: it was a new beginning. By depending on a higher power for help, I am free to enjoy life and be a productive member of society.
I always look at the word"lives" in our 3rd step,was very pertinent for me...Because I would do just that ,not put in the care of God all my "lives" as a father,husband,employee,friend,son,grandparent and so on.(some I would keep and figure I'll take care of those!!!!)..I have practiced allowing the God of my understanding to do the work in ALL OF MY LIVES" it makes all the difference for this addict...Incorporating spiritual priciples alongside my faith beliefs has taken me to a closer level with my Higher Power,,,I am so grateful;;
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
This is a very powerful Just For Today for me. My higher power was absolutely the most important thing to me while I was detoxing and trying to get clean.
During the early part of my recovery, I had a very hard time controlling my emotions (specifically my anger). I knew in my heart that was I was doing was insane, but just couldn't stop it. My first sponsor told me at one point that I really needed to get in touch with my higher power.
I didn't even know what that meant at the time. He made mention that it didn't matter what your higher power was... but you needed something to rely on and hold you accountable.
So I chose the doorknob in my room. Every morning, I would wake up and tell the door knob that I was going to stay clean for it. That it would hold me accountable.
I realize, looking back, that this sounds a bit insane. But it doesn't honestly matter what your higher power is to me, but you have to have it. Spirituality is the foundation of the program, and without spirituality and a higher power you simply cannot recover.
