Projections about actually making amends can be a major obstacle both in making the list and in becoming willing.
Basic Text, p. 39
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The Eighth Step asks us to become willing to make amends to all persons we have harmed. As we approach this step, we may wonder what the outcome of our amends will be. Will we be forgiven? Relieved of any lingering guilt? Or will we be tarred and feathered by the persons weve harmed?
Our tendency to seek forgiveness must be surrendered if we expect to receive the spiritual benefits of the Eighth and Ninth Steps. If we approach these steps expecting anything, were likely to be very disappointed with the results. We want to ask ourselves if we are pinning our hopes on gaining the forgiveness of the person to whom we are making amends. Or maybe were hoping well be excused from our debts by some sympathetic creditor moved to tears by our hard-luck story.
We need to be willing to make our amends regardless of the outcome. We can plan the amends, but we cant plan the results. Although we may not be granted a full pardon by everyone to whom we owe amends, we will learn to forgive ourselves. In the process, we will find that we no longer have to carry the burdens of the past.
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Just for today: I will let go of any expectations I have on the people to whom I owe amends.
It is hard for me to make amends without expectations because I want to be forgiven. But I must remember that I can't control how other people will react. I may be forgiven, and maybe not. The important point is that I am taking care of my side of the street.
Yup like how our literature reminds us ,,,many of our amends will never be finished,our efforts will go on through recovery. Its not like making amends after writing our 8th step and crossing them off like a shopping list!!! Step 9 helps us with our guilt and others with their anger.....SOMETIMES THE ONLY AMENDS WE CAN MAKE IS TO STAY CLEAN!!! yes sir!!!!There really is no particular time frame,,we will spend rest of our lives practicing spiritual principles that will bring real change to how we treat others!!! Got to get back to work,Just for Today!!!!!! :)
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Today I can take responsibility for my actions and do so without expectation. As long as I make the amends my part is done......... I do not need forgiveness I just need to be responsible for my behaviour......
