ok yes I am powerldess over my addiction and my life is unmanagable issue; #1 to give up power is like in my mind a weakness #2 have no faith atm but that is not step one it is very clear I am an addict too many substaces mental illness and yes ppl too so here is where I am "that's why I'm here" so now what if faith and trust is lost??
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
I think the first thing we were asked to do is believe; belief that what works/ worked for other addicts will work for me too..... Faith, as Ive seen, is experienced in the Third Step. First of all I became conscious that there was a Force that keeps me clean..I began to trust.. Then came the time when I asked that Force to keep me serene too....
Little anecdote here;; I once heard the difference between faith and trust through an example: Faith is like going to a circus and seeing your friend, the wheelbarrow expert, do his act. You are sure that when he gets on the rope, he will see himself to theother side because of skill, practice and dedication.. Trust, however, is a when you are yourself willing to sitin that wheel barrow and go the length with him!!!! He,he,he,,,,
Did I make sense hon ???
-- Edited by Raman on Sunday 26th of September 2010 01:57:31 AM
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I had no faith for a long, long time. I came into the program, and realized that I better get some or my life was going to suck forever. I asked my sponsor "how do I get faith" He said "Easy, just ask for it" Pray for faith. It will come.
I didn't give up any power, my life was fucked as it was. I just admitted to myself that any belief I could stop my addictive behaviors on my own was a total illusion on my part. I think many mental disorders work in the same fashion. I just admit that I'm not responsible for how they affect me. Unfair as it amy seem, I am responsible for my recovery from them. As far as addiction is concerned I have to take the steps and input you guys give me.
As far as mental ilness is concerned I have to take my meds the way I'm directed, eat the way I'm directed, show up for appointments.
That's where faith comes in for me. I just keep trying and sometimes I'm faking it. I agree with Don praying for it works for me too.
I think the main thing most of us in NA have in common is that we have faith in the process. We may disagree in every other area but we come here because we have faith that our lives get better. I have alot of proof now.
If I say "Yes, I am powerless over addiction and my life has become unmanagable....BUT..."
and then I add on a list of things that seem to explain why I can't take the next step, then underneath it all, on some level, I am probably still believing that I really do have power over the addiction.
Every minute of every day of my clean time/sobriety depends on my admission of powerlessness over addiction, and the resulting unmanagability. But that alone will not keep me straight & sober. There is a next step, and a next, and a next etc.
For most of us, it seems they need to be taken in the order they are suggested, and taken fully and honestly. Anything less, for many of us, just doesn't bring the kind of life we want to enjoy. So sometimes I revisit my first step, just to "double-check" that I'm not beginning to get in my own way again.
-- Edited by LeeU on Saturday 25th of September 2010 05:29:35 PM
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From dying and surviving to living and thriving. LeeU
