well here i am. still alive and clean. happy? no. but i have depression so that doesnt really work. but i went to a concert tonight with my friends and i had such a good time but i want to cut myself and use. yes ive had cravings in the past 153 days or so that ive been clean but not this bad. all i want to do is curl up in my bed, use, and sleep all day and all night. it could just be because im so busy everday that i dont even have time to relax or just sit in the peace and quiet and do nothing. the everyday stresses are really getting to me and i just cant seem to block them out. im afraid ill slip back into my old self and be lost forever. i havent even really had time to come on here and read about everyones lives so i have no idea how everyones doing. pray for me please.
-- Edited by LizC on Wednesday 22nd of September 2010 12:52:53 AM
__________________
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
hey sweetie the phone thing works both ways you can always call I am not on the computer as much as Iwas b4 but I am always near my phone I understand your depression more than you know and wanting to do nothing but sleep but remember you don't have to use no matter what! love ya lizzy call me
__________________
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
It's amazing the miracles that the 12 steps can work in our lives. I understand depression well. It, along with it's evil sister, anxiety ruled my life for decades. I tried most everything, doctors, psychiatrists, religious cults, therapy, and of course street drugs. I would feel better for a time, but nothing had the long term effect on me that changing my life via the 12 steps of NA has had. If you getting urges to cut and/or drug yourself then your life is wildly unmanageable. go to meetings, get a sponsor, and work the steps. If you don't have the time to do that, then stop doing some of the stuff you are doing and make the time. What have you got to lose other than misery, self hate, and despair?
see the thing is all i do is go to school and work. it just happened that i had one night off to enjoy myself. i need an education and i need money. so i can't really quit either of those.
__________________
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
see the thing is all i do is go to school and work. it just happened that i had one night off to enjoy myself. i need an education and i need money. so i can't really quit either of those.
I get it Liz.
But you are in a danger zone.
Using will destroy all that you are working for.
If you can, try to find some time for recovery. It may be the best investment
you make.
I wish you well.
P.S. thanks for this thread. I need to hear from young people like yourself.
Share it like your life depends on it,and we know it does,change the things you can and continue to pray for the wisdom to know "its looking shaky"and what you are going to do to "CHANGE THINGS"..On any given day,without the work we need to do,we can take that path back to oblivion....Just for Today,"don't use" and continue the gift of life."WE' can never be too busy to remember our recovery must remain first.Good to hear from you Liz!Nothing wrong with your feelings,just ensure your actions keep you moving forward, clean for another day...Talk to ya later!!!
__________________
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Liz when i'm real busy with life like i am now i just CHECK IN SOME WHERE. And this place is a good place to do that and check in with someone in the program to stay wired in , talk recovery with, share some of whats going on just so things don't pile up.
We find ways to COPE, to get relief and in times of busy schedules we use small tools to get us through those times.
Just my experience, your doing fine right where your at get that edjumacation and make a few bucks, thats life .
