As many of you know, my life is dedicated to trying to provide a safe haven for alcoholics, addicts and their families who have a desire to recover; Both online with the MIP web site and here in Wilmington, NC with the MIP recovery homes.
Well, this past Friday I came home to find the police (7 cars) in front of my personal home, because someone I accepted into the recovery homes Thursday evening (the night before)decided to relieve me of my 60 in. Palsma HD TV, Rose's laptop, ipod, numerous DVD's, and most everything else of value that I have in the home. In short, "suddenly, the thought crossed his mind" that he would burglarize my personal home.
The good news is... He was caught within an hour because a neighbor saw what he was doing and called 911 and then approached him. He ran leaving my stuff where he was stockpiling it outside the home. Upon my being given the description I suspected it might be this person, informed police, they picked him up, after he stole a bicycle from the recovery house as a get away vehicle and tried to leave the area on it. They brought him back to the house and the neighbor ID'd him as the burglar.
Today he sits in jail with 3 felony charges, and all my belongings are back in my home.
My frustration and hurt stems from the fact that now, after years of treating alcoholics and addicts as valuable human beings, inviting literally hundreds of them into our home, to interview them, watch MIP orination video, to discuss issues they might be having in the course of early recovery, etc., this one individual has seemingly wiped out my trust. This is what was stolen from me that I'm still struggling to get back.
A young man in the recovery house said to me Sunday, "I am pissed off, not because your house was hit, but because I remember how honored I felt to be invited and welcomed into your home, when the rest of the world had asked me to leave theirs, and in that experience I got the dose of hope that I needed that showed me what the future could hold for me. I could have all those nice goodies one day myself, if stayed plugged in, worked the program and didn't pick up. Because of this A-hole, many others won't get what I and many others have gotten from you. Being trusted by someone made me want to honor it, I wanted to live up to your obvious expectations of me, and one of them was I could be trusted again."
Well, let's face it folks, I don't deal with the cream of the crop in the trust and honesty industry. But I don't want to start treating the people I love and care so much about (alcoholics and addicts, who are merely a reflection of me as one) as second class citizens either. I want each person to be able to stand on their own merit as an individual, and not give them all the stamp of being substandard beings that I will no longer have in my personal home, because of one individuals actions.
Now we get to the insanity part. Do I keep doing what I have always done and expect different results in the future?
Today I feel pretty violated, victimized, and wounded, so does my wife. We both agree that what I do doesn't need to be changed but possibly how I do it does. Yet in me, to alter the way I live my life; when, where and how I will help someone means this person has stolen something more valuable from me than all my material belongings. It's my trust and faith in the inherent goodness of people who suffer from this f** d up diease.
After the man was brought out of the police car and the neighbor id'd him, a part of me wanted to run over to him and hug him with boths hands around his neck, and another part of me was saying...
"But by the Grace of a loving God... there go I".
I remember when someone in recovery threw their car keys to me one day and asked me to go to the store to get some bread and a pack of cigarettes. I thought, "they don't know me very well". I had a history of wrecking peoples cars, getting them impounded, or leaving them at less than honorable places, with less than honorable people as collatorol. And I remember the hope and joy that was instilled in me that day. That I could be trustworthy, that I had a chance to live a life of integrety, that never again did people have to hide their car keys from me. This experience, was one of several in my very early days that caterpilted me into recovery with excitement, enthusism, ambition...
So, I am a bit confused as to where to go with this situation inside of me. Externally everything is as it should be, but internally I'm still frustrated and hurt to the point of mental and emotional illness and I really don't want to start throwing up on the many good people that cross my path in a day by treating any one as less than, not good enough, or as inferior beings in my almighty world.
God, please help me heal quickly before I vomit on the shoes of those standing closest to me. I really don't want to share my pain, by inflicting it on others.
Hey John! First I am glad for you from a financial end that this ended up okay.Most of the time it doesn't as you are well aware.I also agree that you can't let this turn your heart cold,it is not how you have been living your life and a set back should not deter your wanting to give back what you were given.We have to seek the lesson we have learned in our trial,make adjustments(the way you say you are doing things)pray deeply and ask your Higher Power to allow you to continue to move forward,with adjustments,in your endeavor as :one helping another".That does not mean turning a blind eye or leaving yourself wide open ,but as you stated ,we work with those who are still suffering,some more than others.I will pray fervantly for you to find a solution that allows you to continue what you do but also keep things stabile and as under guide as possible.It is a fact,we came in with nothing and we'll go out with nothing so the material things will one day cease to be,but your inner spirit needs constant nourishing and that comes from a Higher Power than all of us...My thoughts are with you and your family(that includes those you reach out to.Go with God,the solution will be forthcoming though as you know you may have to step aside and let it work(make a decision,let God handle the results)...I would definitely increase my material insurance(we just did ) as we left our home for vacation for a couple weeks,,...People will let us down,that is a fact,how we work it out is most important...In support and prayer....
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
You just got a reality check. I am surprised you were as trusting as you have been. I wouldn't be. I am very careful about whom I bring into my home or let know where I live. I have a wife and two kids and can't afford to place them at risk. I am all in favor of helping people get clean and stay clean--I sponsor people and do service work--but I also use prudence. I hope that you continue to open your heart (if not your home) to the still suffering addicts.
John let's look at the stat's. One addict you tried to help out of the thousands you have helped.Don't let that one, have power over you and the honerable work that you do...... Even the John citizen down the road has a chance that a sick addict will jump through his window and rob him..... May be an alarm system might be the order for the day.
I agree with Raman you had faith in me as a newcomer almost 6 years ago you trusted me here at MIP it made me feel needed and appriciated you too are a miracle in progress I am always gratefulk to call MIP home without you this would not be possible you are in my thoughts as well as my prayers
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
I stold from several recovery homes I was in, once it was money and I spent a weekend using on that money another time I stole some jewelery and another time it was a radio, thats 3 OH MAN what a sick F^&$.
I got sent back to prison for one I got punched in the face by another addict at the other and I got kicked out of the other place, never once did I get away with anything , all I wanted to do was kill the pain I was inand I didnt care who I hurt or who got in my way I could not stop what was happening inside of me, all I knew was I needed to be loaded at any cost.
Yeah thats sick and some are sicker, will stoop lower then others and maybe we are just simply that, SICKER.
I have addicts i'm helping try to pull shit over my eyes all the time, I let god sort it out and try not to get in the middle to much, yeah a guy asks me for some money syas hes hungry so if he wants I buy him a meal, needs some cigarettes I got to the liquor store and buy him some so on so fourth.
But John you have put yourself in a vulnerable position you are sticking your neck out and situations will arise DONT TAKE IT PERSONAL we're wolves some of us and others are sheep LOL worse things can happens, murder, suicide, rape these are all things to consider , we are sick sick sick people with mental, spiritual, emotional illness's, many of us are mental defects freaks of nature, low life scum bags .
Take me for example LOL after saying all that I can honestly say i'm pretty damn honest, not totally but about 1000 times better then I was because I've found a solution and been able to change some things, THANKS GOD . I hated that life and person that I was I have a flippin conscounce and a responsibilty today NOT to become that person again.
Just going to have to keep a closer eye on things, Jesus took that slap across the face and turned his cheek....
