Hi Ginny,,
Hang on, here is a suggestion that may help...

The Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous is just that,,
has given answers to addicts problems the world over for decades now..

I have a small little thing to say,,,each time I want to find somethi8ng new to do in recovery or am looking for insights or just filling gaps in my knowledge, I just take the Basic Text off the shelf and turn a page...
Most time, I land on the right page and get the right message.....

Im going to do that again and whats come up ?
Up comes page 62 (5th edition) and says
"the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using" and thats Tradition Three..
The other page , 63 goes onto Tradition Four and promises freedom,, autonomy and the like...
Most importantly, we addicts need freedom from control, freedom from dogma, freedom from rules and regulations and the groups behave responsibly, except when it affects the welfare of other groups or NA as a whole.

I can use that in personal context and when someone throws a dogma or a "you should be like this", or "it must be doen this way", I quickly look at this Tradition for guidance and take the standpoint that just as groups are autonomous, we individual addicts are promised personal freedom.
As long as my actions do not take me towards relapse, and as long as my actions dont compromise the well being of other addicts in my company or show NA in a bad light, Im doing right...

Whew,,,, sorry to load you with that much info,,, but like you said
"Knowledge is the power to achieve" and for us addicts the Right Knowledge comes from readng NA material...
Thanks for letting me share !!

There are many roads to recovery but for this addict,the faith and trust in my Higher Power,whom I choose to call God,the spiritual solution of working the steps,with a sponsor,making meetings and giving back all accompanied by "never picking up that mind altering,mood changing substance,have kept me moving forward "free from active addiction"for at least another day,that turned into months ,that turned into years.Nothing changes ,if nothing changes,so continue to do the things that will reenforce your recovery..I would suggest not setting up a "reservation" in your program by allowing thoughts of "well if this don't hapen  then Im going to do that"This disease don't play,and will tell you you don;t even have it so Just for Today,don't use,do the work,because if your not working on something ,then something is working on you.Congratulations of 50 days clean,any clean addict is a miracle.I also suggest getting some tools,Basicc Text,Information pamphlets,sharing with other addicts and listening for a sponsor..Glad you found us,keep coming back and let us know how its going.The sayings and quotes are very valid,and they came about from other addicts experience ,strength and hope,but it continues to progress with recovery as you stay abstinent and do not become complacent.The message is hope and the promise is freedom from active addiction,keep riding the train of "life" one day at a time, believe me "more will be revealed....peace

True, that makes alot of sense.. i do have the blue book.. but there are alot of things I cant find in there like, how am i supposed to act, think, or feel when i am 51 days clean and all of the sober people i m getting close with are relapsing?  when my little sister cries her eyes out for hours because she got high and has to start her clean clock over, what do i say?  Once you are a pickle u can never be a cucumber again.. I love that quote.. but where did it come from?  where are more?  i go to a meeting every single night, but they dont tell me what to do when my family tells me "you could steal for drugs but you cant steal for your family".. and they are right.. but i dont want to live like that anymore!