...we think that if we can just get enough food, enough sex, or enough money, well be satisfied and everything will be alright.
Basic Text, p. 80
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In our addiction, we could never get enough drugs, or money, or sex, or anything else. Even too much was never enough! There was a spiritual emptiness inside us. Though we tried as hard as we could to fill that emptiness ourselves, we never succeeded. In the end, we realized that we lacked the power to fill it; it would take a Power greater than ourselves to do that.
So we stopped using, and we stopped trying to fill the emptiness in our gut with things. We turned to our Higher Power, asking for its care, strength, and direction. We surrendered and made way for that Power to begin the process of filling our inner void. We stopped grabbing things and started receiving the free gift of love our Higher Power had for us. Slowly, our inner emptiness was being filled.
Now that weve been given our Higher Powers gift of love, what do we do with it? If we clasp that gift tightly to ourselves, we will smother it. We must remember that love grows only when it is shared. We can only keep this gift by freely giving it away. The world of addiction is a world of taking and being taken; the world of recovery is a world of giving and being given. In which world do we choose to live?
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Just for today: I choose to live in the fullness of recovery. I will celebrate my conscious contact with the God of my understanding by freely sharing with others that which has been freely shared with me.
That's the nature of addiction--always wanting more. Even though I am not using drugs today, I still have an addictive personality, and I can have difficulties with other things that I use to fill the void (food, sex, etc.). I need a strong relationship with my higher power to feel satisfied.
Ask and ye shall recieve...... In the past when I heard this saying I'd just say sure.. but today all I have to do is ask for the emptiness I feel to be filled and it is with love.....I just have to share with other addicts and I no longer feel alone......I can always hear what my HP has to say to me when I share with my NA family......I love you guys
I can definitely relate to having an addictive personality. "One is too many, a thousand is not enough" has never just been about to chemicals for me. Even now that I am in recovery if i am restless because of stress or distracted for any reason my mind goes into overload. Whether I am buying or getting something for me or my 2 teenage daughters it's always more, more, more. It's really scary because it just shows me how easy it is too slip into that addict mentality w/out picking up the first drink or drug. For me it can be as simple as going to the mall and buying 10 pairs of shoes instead of 1 or 2 or going to grocery store and spending $300 and realizing 90% of what I bought is junk food. It's something I have to make myself be aware of on a daily basis. Hopefully one day it will get a little easier.
Take Care, Stacey
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The Will Of GOD Will Never Take You Where The Grace Of GOD Will Not Protect You
When I start to drift from occupying my mind with things of my Higher Power,I find I start sinking in the hole of depression,ungratefulness and "poor me" syndrome. It is not a normal daily occurence but because I am a fallen human being I do stumble more than I care to... It really takes a lot of work and most times Im up for it but certain times I grow weary.God give me the strength to always sit with you so I can hear and let you take care of what you know needs to happen...I will petition and step aside in faith and trust...............
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Hey there Avid, I feel like I should be able to have something really wise & profound to say to you right now because that's what you do for me & so many others on this board but unfortunately I lack way too much in the spiritual deptartment most days. Work in progress, right? What I do have is plenty of confidence in you my friend. I have no idea what's going on w/ you exactly but I do know through this board and your endless devotion to this program that you're going to be okay. Just remember what you've posted to me & so many others about the importance of staying connected spiritually and believing in this program. Okay, that's what I feel like I should say. Here's what I do know... My spirituality is a constant struggle but I have to keep working at it because on the days I don't, well to be completely honest I feel blank. It may take a day or so but then nothing. I might as well be high because I know if I keep feeling that void or that empty I will be high very soon because I am an addict and i hate feeling empty & alone regardless of the reason. Please take your own advice. Go back and read some of your older post. I pray that will help. Also please know this whole board knows how you've been there for all of us and we will be here for you. I think I probably just got way too deep but I hate to know your hurting. God Bless.
Take Care, Stacey
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The Will Of GOD Will Never Take You Where The Grace Of GOD Will Not Protect You
thank you for kind words of encouragement and support. I hurt my back about a month ago. Nothing new except this time my usual remedies, ice, ibuprofen, heat etc. weren't working. MRI showed some additional complications since the last one (7 years ago) I'm over 60 but pretty active. Losing the ability to ride my bike, jog and other physical activities, really had me in a funk. I let the "poor me's" take over. I couldn't see clearly (hard to see when your head is up your butt) But I kept going to meetings and calling my sponsor and support group. they got me through this rough patch without me going back out. It is so important to have a routine. Go to meetings, call sponsor, call another addict, read the literature, work the steps. The importance of a consistent routine really becomes clear when life is beating us up. sure when everything is fine we can miss a meeting, or neglect a phone call, and not relapse, but it's important to do them anyway. Why? So when I have lousy days like those recent ones, I can rely on just doing what I always do. I didn't really want to call my sponsor but not calling just wouldn't feel right. I guess what I'm saying is that the recovery routines we establish can save our ass.....or our life. They did mine. thanks again Stacey....You are an important person in my recovery. I always appreciate hearing from you. Be well.
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