I think you chose wisely my friend

Raman: I have been following you on this and hope you are at peace with all this now. I have been at odds with my group and the decisions they have made in the past. I've never felt there was abuse of newcomers happening but I have seen the day when Oldtimers used to tell newcomers to sit down and shut up.

I wasn't told that at the little group I ctarted out in and am not certain what would have happened to me if I had been told that. On the contrary I was told to sit down and asked to share (actually they just stared at me till I shared).

I'd never second guess a decision anyone makes regarding their recovery. I might find me a new home group if I felt the need, but I'm not certain that I'd ever remove myself completely from my home grouo if I thought changes needed to be made. I haven't during these times.

I did slip into observation and example mode for a period of 5 years. I'm not even going to tell you what the outcome has meant in my life but it has resulted in my group growing into 3 groups as the folks I was certain were the problem started other groups. This has happened twice so far. Both times what seemed to be the core of the group's conscience left proclaiming the group would fall. I sat on the vback row, kept my mouth shut and my name on the phone list and prayed that God would guide me in my recovery.

I made a miriad of other meetings including other fellowships for 5 years. But I planted my ass to a seat in a Sunday morning meeting and that was my only connection to the group for that 5 years. I watched people come and go and the second group started and I thought it was over for the old Fort Worth 24 Hour NA Group (most just call it the 24).

I know now Raman that my ego was healing. God and my Master can only work with my ego by destroying it. This is probably the most emotionally painful times of my life.

Over the years I've walked away and I've stayed and endured, both have contained valuable lessons. I'm not putting my experiences on anyone else, but I've found more growth in the relationships I've managed to maintain than those I've severed completely.

I pray for you and your group!

Not judging them but the way they talk and act seems like it's not a place for me to be and call as home !!
Home is where the heart is and my heart now belongs to another group, one that stood by me in this time of crisis....

Best wishes to you. I hope you find a good home group.

-- Edited by JoeB on Thursday 9th of September 2010 01:30:19 PM

I'm glad we're all here today!

Thanks Vin,,

Sat at that meeting this evening,,,
I really connected with one guy that was there from many years.....

"meeting makers make it"",,,,,,

then I went on to play my sax at this sorry assed restraunt,,,,
sorry cause each time the music was getting good,, and the crowd there began to enjoy it,, you had the managers come and tell the singer to pipe down,,,
and seems like the singer is a people pleasing, sad assed guy that'd be had like that and not mind it......

Im glad what I played was appreciated by many there this evening,,,

Must thank my darling Manon for sharing that thinking of alcohol as different from other drugs is dangerous....
By God,, I cant afford that mistake....

Raman, hate to see you go anywhere. You have helped me many times during my recovery. Thanks for all.

God Bless

Ugh,, hey, hey, hey,,,
MIP is sure my home group for all times... Il never leave here.

The group I am referring to is the f-t-f in Bangalore India,, where I attended for 8 years...
Then I went to England and things changed..

When I came back here in Dec. last year,, I did not have energy to do too many meetings as I was on HEP>C treatment..
They a J group thought I was being indifferent...
Then my anniversary fell on a Monday and as I was low ion energy thought Id cut cake at the Monday meet8ing rather than home-J meeting on Tuesday,,,and that was held against me again....
and so on and so forth and then the time came when they had a group conscience meeting and didnt invite me in,, though for the past 5 months Ive been quite regular.
They voted for my opponent... this is never done because after a group forwards a resume to ASC, it has to back that candidate. So did me wrong again....

Over a period of time, that group is being controlled by guys from a treatment centre,,lead by one of em who is the owner.
I have nothing against treatment centres,,in fact I came from one.
But when they begin distorting the NA message at recovery meetings, I object.
And that dosent go well with the control freaks.
So what happens ??? The treatment centre owner, though a former sponsee of mine, fo whatever reasons best know to him and his cornies,, ets em to vote against me..

So that is it, I have ;left that group for another,,,, from J to VOH...
But all within the Blessings of MIP....

End of an older chapter and beggining to see a new one,,,in fact
IM BEGGINING TO SEE THE LIGHT !!!!!

Yes,, thanks for sharing that Lee,, sweets...

Well an old timer here once described resentment as me drinking the poison and hoping my enemy will die..
Severe example but seesm to fit he bill,,, what with thoughts like
"F!"£ em all"
"Il show these a!"£$%^& what Im all about",,

and so on and so forth...

Yes this too shall pass,,, it si already in the passing.
Last nites meeting at my new home group was fab,,,real shares happened amonst us 8..
I shared real issues with me, and what Im experiencing in recovery these days..
The short meeting after the meeting was good too....

Im glad a newer member decided to confide in me and seek suggestions; hopefully I shared the right things with him, that'd keep him in recovery..

A nice long cyber-hug to you Lee,,,,,hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm