I have had a really rough year and ahalf many attempts on my own life and just drama everywhere Igo it follows today I saw the one promise my HP has given that I can actually see the rainbow so why is it so hard to surrender to him/her the doctors gave me a year to two years cause of myt copd then my primary care doc calls and said they should not have gave me worse case they shouls have given hope in medicine or that there are ways to slow the pprocess down these damn ciggerattes would be a great start but hell all I do is sit in my apt and play on this stupid thing I have one close friend and that is aabout it my copd has gotten to the point where anti biotics are not helping have to call the doc agin this morning for another round maybe in a an IV so it will have more affect??? dunno but Ihave a severe case od pnemonia I would not let them hospitalize me having one of the probs that I have being confined is not easy onme and cause extreme aggresion my shrink is trying to take care of the anxiety but nothing seems to help my faith is shot don't know where to turn??? any suggestions?
__________________
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Hey Manon! Faith is a word with many meanings, it can mean faithfulness,it can mean absolute trust,it can mean confident hope,it could also mean a belief that does not result in good deeds.My spiritual readings tell me faith is a gift from God, through God's grace and mercy(the God of your understanding) for pulling us from the muck and mire and allowing us to "come to believe" as our literature tells us.Because we know God is merciful we accept the gift of faith that is offered.When we try to turn faith into deeds and try and develop it on our own it often leads to tradgedy.We don't come to God through our own faith, but we accept the gift and allow God to plant the seed of faith in us...our literature tells us ,"our daily surrender to our Higher Power provides the help we need",we have trouble with acceptance and may still deny our faith.WORRYING IS A LACK OF FAITH! I can only suggest continuing to put your 3rd/11th steps into action each waking moment and in all things trust your Higher Power. Life is going to keep blasting away,let the Power that has allowed you to "still be here' continue to allow you to make the decisons(take action) and that Power will take care of the results!!! This is my stuff and it helps me.......In support and prayer...Have a blessed day.
__________________
Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I think for me faith is kind of a paradox. If I truly believe some-thing, that's not necessarily faith. It's when I don't believe something that faith comes in for me. If I don't beleive I am going to get better, I work on faith by calling on something that I do believe in.
Many of us call that God with a capital G, some call it Nature with a capital N, yet others just believe that miracles occur (work on the capitalization within).
I believe that I came to this earth by choice, to experience, and to share this life with others, to effect their lives. I believe I came searching for a Master (capital M) and that during my search for this Master I have been distracted by the illusions and dreams this life has to offer. Dope, sex, approval of others, personal satisfaction, etc.
My Master's only job is to gently say: Joe, wake up, is this what you came here to do? He never tells me, he just asks me. My Master needed help because I was particularly lost in this world. For that reason he put people like you in my life. Through you, through NA people sharing your life, your fears, your happiness, your illuisions, I am reminded: Wake up, Joe!
Every time I share that I don't believe but simply have faith that it is true, my Master can work on someone else.
I don't know it, I don't believe it most of the time, but I have faith that you are one of the Saints my Master has put in charge of helping me to remember, that I don't truly believe, I truly sleep walk into my Master's grace.
Manon -My experience we do this shit even when we think we are lost, abandoned - even when we are feeling helpless and hopeless - we have learned the basics or we wouldn't be clean today - So we keep doing the basics, we pray, we talk to other addicts, we don't take nothing and that process alone - AGAIN, AND AGAIN AND AGAIN - FAITH SHOWS UP - one day - some days - many days - we are able to say "darn that was tough" but shit I'm clean - a little more clearer, a little more peace - I watched a spiritual leader on TV talk about their own struggle -Now this lady is huge in her ministry - and she says some days for her its just tough - day in and day out - so she ask GOD - i keep doing this stuff - praying, ministry, books, teaching on and on - and I still feel the same - GOD told her "Do it again..so she continued - and then prayed for guidance cause she was still feeling heavy burden..GOD told her "DO IT AGAIN" so the just we all have struggles and if we want any kind of relief - even if we have mental and medical stuff - We have to continue to strengthen our spiritual self and for me its about prayer, connected with addicts who aren't using or trying to find a new way of life..Its about me taking ownership - and I get to do that thru working the 12 steps of NA..We just keep doing it - and relief, clarity, fullness, love and abundant of life shows up ...Manon - I encourage you to continue taking care of your spiritual self, continue to share and seek and find the truth about who you are - In your HP eyes..
The mystery of faith, ever deeens as we trudge along the road of happy destiny !! I love you just the way you are Manon,, keep coming back, no matter what ! Tight hugs across cyberspace, with all the best of recovery to you...
__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I saw a documentary about world war 2 recently. One guy being interviewed was talking about the effects of being bombarded day after day for several weeks. He said. "some days all you can do is hang on and pray" I feel that way sometimes. So I just hang on and pray.
I saw a documentary about world war 2 recently. One guy being interviewed was talking about the effects of being bombarded day after day for several weeks. He said. "some days all you can do is hang on and pray" I feel that way sometimes. So I just hang on and pray.
YEP some days are just like that and i take it by the moment even
Manon try not to be so hard on yourself..... I belive you still have your faith because you are here......still doing what you can,still reaching out to those who love you even when you can't love yourself.... Take care my sister and hand it all over to your HP, He can handel what we can't......
