I know i haven't posted in a while but I get just as much or more simply by reading the other posts. I've seen several about others being lonely in recovery so I know i am not alone in this but it sure feels like it. I have always been extremely outgoing and very very social until ... well until I wasn't. Which happens to be around the same time i went to rehab and began recovery. I have always been a people person. I've always preferred a group instead of one or two. That's was just my personality. I've worked in sales for the last 20 yrs and was a bartender/ manager for about 12. Now that I am in recovery I can't bartend and I am working as a receptionist now so I don't really work w/ the public anymore. I don't feel strong enough yet to be around a lot of my old friends socially but I don't go anywhere to meet new ones. I have other parents in my community and fortunately all of those relationships are still healthy but it's not the same. If I am truly honest w/ myself feeling like this scares the hell out of me. It's very unhealthy for me in a lot of ways. There are very few meetings where i live and when I do find one it's usually an AA meeting w/ mostly young guys from the men's rehab/halfway house. Which is okay but sometimes I feel like i need something more. I don't even really know what i am trying to say except eventhough I am so grateful and truly do feel blessed to be sober I am just very lonely & sad in alot of ways. I feel terrible for saying that because i know how lucky i am just to be sober and have 2 beautiful healthy amazing daughters who have given me a second chance. I am ashamed to admit being in recovery is very lonely at times but I had to get it out and tell someone. Thank you guys so much for this board and for having a place where we can tell the truth about how feel and not be judged by for it.
Stacey
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The Will Of GOD Will Never Take You Where The Grace Of GOD Will Not Protect You
I was also a "people" person when using. I loved going to parties, hanging out, etc. The thing is, though I was around people all the time, I was very lonely, because I was so alienated from people and myself due to my drug/alcohol use. When I got clean I started going to a lot of meetings, meeting people who are in recovery, working with a sponsor, and developing a relationship with a higher power. Gradually, I made new friends. Loneliness can still crop up every once in a while, but I know what to do when I feel that way. I have people I can call, meetings I can go to etc. I can also get in touch with my higher power.
I feel for you Stacey. My area has alot of meetings and events. There is a softball game every Saturday, fishing trips are often scheduled along with bowling, dances and other fun activities. loneliness is a dangerous feeling. Especially when you look back on your using days as fun times and remember yourself as outgoing and popular. The disease wants us to forget the misery of addiction and romance the upside. I can only share that it is the women in my area who seem to make the social events happen. Perhaps you can connect with some of them and see if y'all can't make some fun stuff happen. Last weekend there was a "battle of the fellowships" volleyball game that brought NA and AA members together for a fun day at the beach. You are in my prayers.
Hey Stacey,,good to see ya!! I was also life of the party type of dude and always had a lot of people around(of course I was also a dealer so that brought much traffic) anyway when I got clean,I was stuck for awhile cause all areas I was involved in were around people that used..I had to work very hard to continue to find "new groups" of people' so I didn't isolate or go nuts.Started with a gambling group(not the best but got me with a different type of 'struggling people' but not using drugs.Next I rejoined a band with "straight musicians" but playing bar scenes wasn't condusive for me at the time.Then found a church group and for over 12 years spent time with men in a "bible group;' and accountability partners,that was a blessing but still couldn't hook up with people like me,cause I'm an addict.Did martial arts group for 6 years and started running marathons.great people but still missing something.....All along it was "people in the process" that became the ones I coulD Identify with.Dont get me wrong I still am parts of different groups,I actually play in a band with 2 addicts in recovery,still train for marathons and have a great church family but I cherish my sponsor,grand sponsor,my support group and of course my wife.God has allowed me an ability to 'keep myself content with small things,going to movies,out to eat,running long,playing music and being part of recovery events.We are spending more time with our daughter and son in law and wife and I are spending more time with each other.I still have the old "all for me Mike inside" and have to tame that beast when it appears,but getting better day by day...I continue to step out of my comfort zone to ensure I can satisfy that 'social thing" I got but I also love my time with my God ,my wife and myself...Continue to ask God for guidance,find a helping service of some sort(doesn't have to be program)like Salvation Army,volunteer 'MEALS ON WHEELS,volunteer at senior centers etc......will get you out of the islation,keep you in a safe place and fill your heart with joy,looking into someones eyes you just were able to help and see the joy!!!!I'll keep you in prayer.let us know how its going okay!!! see ya on the rebound....
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I just want to say "thanks" you guys for the quick replies and suggestions. It really helps just knowing I am not completely alone in this and it's part of my recovery process but it's still very hard. I hate feeling like this. I haven't even found a sponser since i've been back. To be honest i am beginning to almost feel lost in my own home.
take care, Stacey
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The Will Of GOD Will Never Take You Where The Grace Of GOD Will Not Protect You
Stacey, I know how you feel too. Ever since I've gotten off the drugs I've been having to spend a lot of time on my own, but during the day with 2 other people that STILL use multiple pills everday. I hear them talk about it, I hear the bottles clickin an clacking when they trade or 'help eachother out' I look to my left and I see my mother unable to stay awake, and I know why, even if she won't admit it. My boyfriend's never had any kind of addiction, so he doesn't understand my plight at all, he still thinks I just 'need something to do' ... but the thing is, even when I do have something to do, I feel like I'm screaming in a room full of people and no one can hear me, it makes you feel isolated, like, no one else here is going through the same thing, but they act like they are. How can so many people give me advice on staying sober when they have never had to get clean themselves? It ticks me off. Luckily, here, I can talk to people who really know what I'm going through, this website is a blessing, let's 'use' it to defeat the enemy once and for all!
